Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Musings of a Rich Guy

I did my taxes over the weekend and was pleased to discover that I am rich. Actually I had an inkling that I might be rich last year, but now I know for sure. Given that the Bush tax cuts had somewhat of an impact on my federal return last year, and a noticeable impact this year, I must be rich. After all, I keep hearing these bloated windbags in Congress and elsewhere telling me that those tax breaks were for the "rich". Res ipsa loquitur.

Of course it didn't hurt that you can deduct your state, local and property taxes on your federal return (*big* deduction if you're a MN taxpayer). Oh - that's another reason why I know I'm rich. Since Minnesota has a long and storied history of not giving tax breaks to the rich, and I again got rear-ended this year on my Minnesota bill, it confirms my status as a "rich" guy.

As a quick aside for all you Minnesota filers out there: did you ever notice that many of the available Minnesota tax credits seem to be set up for the benefit of maybe one or two people? Most of them read like:

If your adjusted gross income is more than $38,337 but not more than $39,005, and you or a qualifying spouse have a prosthetic arm that is orange or ochre in color, and you claim at least one dependent on this year's return that has been treated for gout in the past three years, then you qualify for the Prosthetic Gout Tax Credit in an amount not to exceed $12.46.

But I digress. Where was I?

Oh yeah: I'm rich.

I'll be getting a big refund from my federal return soon. I have big plans for that money:

- Pay the $120 I owe Minnesota for underwithholding yet again;

- Pay off the discrepancy in my escrow account to make up for ISD 196's latest butt raping;

- Subsidize sales taxes I may pay throughout the year;

- Subsidize all the gas taxes I will pay throughout the year;

- Utility surcharges and fees;

- Renew my vehicle tabs;

- With what's left, I'll buy a 12 pack of premium domestic beer and a couple of cigars, (along with their attendant excise taxes, and "fees".)

No comments: