Tuesday, January 10, 2006

SylNonMonkey in Bizarro World

I haven't picked on the Jenital in a while (That's the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel for the uninitiated). I think I'm due for another installment.

You know how us folks up here in the Twin Cities have NonMonkey to provide us bloggers with a never ending supply of eminently fiskable pious left-wing blather?

And you know how we have occasional editorial contributor Syl Jones to provide us with an occasional supply of eminently fiskable pious left-wing race-baiting blather?

Imagine the two combined into some sort of awful Frankenstein's monster, lumbering around wreaking havoc on common sense everywhere; chewing up large chunks of rational thought and spiting it out in a wad of unrecognizable cheap, thought-free rhetoric.

The Jenitel has such a monster. His name is Eugene Kane.

Kane traffics in the same kind of empty simplistic crap we see most often from the Nonmonkey when he talks about the war in Iraq (example).

He also loooooooooooooooooves to play the race card at any opportunity - hell he doesn't even need an opportunity - like Syl (example example).

And then there are the NonMonkey/Syl Jones hybrid/love-child scribblings:

That's why the start of this holiday season exposed Smith to a troubling reality about her adopted hometown.

After a fire of suspicious origin a few weeks before Thanksgiving forced her to temporarily relocate, Smith returned home to find a vile racial slur painted in red across her garage door.
The words left little to the imagination:


"N!gger Don't Come Back."

She had little doubt the vile commentary was aimed at her specifically.

Smith, who works at a local senior center, called me last week in tears and invited me to come see her garage.


I drove out to Germantown on Friday morning. It's about a half-hour drive from Milwaukee, which was actually enjoyable. When you are a city kid at heart like me, it's always a thrill to travel out to the wide open spaces of the 'burbs.

(In the daytime, that is.)

- Hey you got your NonMonkey on my Syl!

- And you got your Syl on my NonMonkey!

- It's delicious!

Read the whole thing. Because the punchline was discovered after this particular column ran, as re-reported by Kane himself; after all that moralizing race baiting and sneering at those bigoted racist redneck Germantowners:

I will include here the strange case of Evelyn Smith, the African-American woman in Germantown I wrote about three weeks ago who claimed that racist graffiti was painted on her garage after a suspicious fire at her home.

According to police, arson charges are expected soon.

No one is saying Smith is the main suspect, but investigators found that she moved furniture from her home to a storage facility before the fire was reported. She has hired a lawyer after being asked to take a lie-detector test.

Our schools, er, garages are burning!!! Or maybe not...

But the title to this post does say that SylNonMonkey inhabits Bizarro World. Why? Because, unlike Nonmonkey, this particular animal has embraced blogs.

And like NonMonkey, SylNonMonkey believes that his daily droolings are the bestest, brightest things in the 'Sphere (emphasis mine):

It's my humble opinion that the best blogs - like mine at www.jsonline.com/links/raisingkane - don't rant and rave as much as refer readers to interesting stories and commentary from other sources.

Heh.

Heh.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Well, go ahead and follow that link, and see for yourself if SylNonMonkey's blog would pull more traffic than, say, this one, if it weren't attached to a major newspaper.

Congratulations on your first koolaidlanche, Dan. Enjoy your traffic spike (What? 30, 40 hits?)

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