Monday, January 16, 2006

Your Monday Moron Mail Mad Lib

First, one note as to how the MMML letter is selected.

Generally, I will select a letter that defies fisking because it is either: 1) vacuous nonsense; 2) consists of little more than the prevalent pervasive lefty trope of the day (EXAMPLE: Bush lied! Ill conceived war, Halliburton! -Biff Smootytoot, Minneapolis); 3) is condescending, self-serving or posits something that is highly debatable as axiomatic; or 4) resorts to name calling as a persuasive device (EXAMPLE: Everybody who disagrees with me is a hateful bigot!). Last week's MMML letter was guilty of number 4. If that letter had not contained that last paragraph, it would have escaped notice altogether.

All this is to say that MMML is a vehicle of ridicule for insulting rhetoric that sorely deserves it, and nothing more. And it also provides an opportunity to fabricate phrases like "but still affording gay and lesbian coffee filters with some meat."

We all clear on that? Good. Here's today's. Find a friend, do it, and post it if it's good (real letter here):

Now go [VERB]

Congratulations to St. Paul Mayor [CARTOON CHARACTER], Council Member [FAMOUS HISTORICAL OR PRESENT DESPOT] and other forward-thinking members of the [FAMOUS OR MADE-UP CLUB] for their [ADJECTIVE] decision to protect all [NOUN (PLURAL)] in the [PLACE].


This issue is not about prohibition of [ACTIVITY] -- some of its leading proponents are [INSULTING NOUN (PLURAL)] -- but rather allowing workers and [NOUN (PLURAL)] to be able to [BODILY FUNCTION] cleaner, healthier air and not be forced to inhale [NOUN].

[CARTOON CHARACTER (POSSESSIVE)] efforts to try to help [NOUN (PLURAL)] that fear adverse effects from this [NOUN] and his decision to work with Minneapolis Mayor [SCIENCE FICTION / FANTASY CREATURE] to level the playing field through a [ADJECTIVE] ordinance are particularly [ADJECTIVE].

EVELYN [GROSS FOOD], HUTCHINSON, MINN
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