Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Moron Mail -or- When You Jerk Your Knee Too Quickly, You're Likely to Swallow Your Own Foot

Meet the sanctimonious beeeeyotch of the day:

I don't really care that it took a day for the White House to admit that Dick Cheney shot his hunting partner. But two other things do bother me.

• The victim is being blamed. When I hunt, it is my responsibility to know what I am shooting at and where everyone else is. I have been in Cheney's situation, but the difference is I didn't pull the trigger and no one was hurt. A bird got away instead.

• He just gets a warning for not having a proper stamp? I believe if it was an average "Joe," a citation would have been issued for negligent discharge of a firearm or something similar. Probably a fine with a requirement to go though a hunter safety program.

JOY GOBBLECOCK, NEW RICHLAND, MINN.

Dashed this tripe off a little too quickly, eh Joy?

“You can talk about all of the other conditions that exist at the time but that’s the bottom line and — it was not Harry’s fault,” [Chaney] said. “You can’t blame anybody else. I’m the guy who pulled the trigger and shot my friend.”

But maybe Joy has a point. Maybe Chaney should have immediately publicly prostrated himself before a bunch of cretins who hate him anyway before his friend's body even hit the ground.

The second bullet point is turned aside easily by none other than that reliable Administration appologia mill, The Smoking Gun (emphasis mine):

As a result, a warning citation--which carries no fine or penalty--will be issued to Cheney, which state officials described as "routine."

Reminds me of the old saying: "When you assume, you probably are a shit-eating knee-jerk jackass from New Richland."

So, Ms. Gobblecock -if that's your real name (it isn't) - how does your foot taste?

I'm guessing it probably tastes better than the place where your head currently resides.

And that goes double for you self-salad-tossing coneheads. Perhaps you can devote this Sunday's Opinion Exchange section to a debate about how tasty one's own ass is. I'm sure Jim Boyd and Garrison Keilor have a lot of good insights on the topic.

(Whew! That felt good. Keep those complaints coming!)

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