With apologies to Power Liberal.
11. Wearing a perpetual sneer makes one's face hurt.
10. Somebody came up with "Chimpy McBushitler" first; can't find another way to prove cleverness.
9. Constant exposure to patchouli.
8. Conservatives have all the guns.
7. Always have to fake an understanding of art.
6. Always have to fake an understanding of everything else.
5. Cannot understand why nobody wants to vote for political candidates who want to tax the living shit out of them.
4. All that condescention takes a lot of energy.
3. Its hard to get a job with a Women's Studies degree.
2. Anal sex gives you hemorrhoiditis.
1. No amount of makeup can completely cover the large and unattractive lobotomy scar.