Tuesday, March 21, 2006

the blog mart

the blog mart by brian o'timm

Revolutionary technology portends glorious future of internet

Things have been busy here at blog mart central. I have discovered a wonderful new internet device that makes my job, as well as the experience of all of those hundreds of blog surfers, a snap. It is called the "Hyper-Link".

During my weekly excursions into the "blogosphere" I noticed that "bloggers" occasionally would include "highlighted" words in their "postings." Well, one time I accidentally "clicked" on one of these "hyperlinks" and was magically "whisked" to a completely different "internet" "website." I tried repeating this procedure at other "blogs" and found that not only did these so-called "hyper-links" take me to different places in the wild frontier that is the "internet," but that frequently my "hyper-linked" destination tended to be relevant to the "blog" "posting" I was reading. It occurred to me that "bloggers" insert these "hyper-links" to provide additional "information" or "context" to the "subject" about which they are writing. Although I also found that some of the lesser blogs (1) tend to also "copy" and "paste" the entire text of what they are "hyper-linking" to while also providing the "hyper-link" itself.

Cool! Kewl!

So the potential for this nifty new technology is endless. For example, in the Future, instead of merely writing a sentence like "The cloudless sky is bright blue today," and risk the possibility that some may not know exactly what I mean, I will be able to enhance the text with background "hyper-links" like this: "The cloudless sky is bright blue today." This will spell the end of miscommunication as we know it, and possibly lead to world peace!

Once again, the "bloggers" have shown us the way.

I will use "hyper-links" sparingly for the time being, as I am sure that many of the blog mart's readers are not yet as astute about their usage as I am. I would hate for an unsuspecting reader to follow one of my "'links" and get lost in the internet.

Because of my research of "hyper-linking" I was unable to make my comprehensive peregrinations around the "blogosphere." So instead, here is a truncated wrap of the the blog buzz for last week, from only the truly essential blogs.

Don't quit Barry!

Slugger Barry Bonds is really beginning to feel the heat due to the release of a new "book" called The Game of Shadows. The book presents new, compelling and voluminous evidence that Bonds did indeed ingest and inject enough steroids to kill a hippo.

Blogger MC Hammer of the MC Hammer Blog (2) rushed to Bonds' defense, writing eloquently that quitting baseball is not an acceptable option (the following is known among the "blog" cognoscenti like me as a "blockquote"):

Under no circumstances are you allowed to quit, exit , leave, retire,
walkout or any other form of saying bye that would equate to you aborting the
mission. This is not your mission alone. This is baseball's, and millions of
baseball fans mission. For all of us who played the game and the love the game,
to see you walkout while in earshot of the all time most prestigious record in
the game of baseball would be a slap in our collective faces.


SEE FOR YOURSELF HOW TO FIND BLOGS ONLINE:

1 Lesser Blog - www.lloydlooser.blobspot.com
2 The MC Hammer Blog - www.mchammer.blogspot.com/2006/03/barry-bonds_09.html

THE BLOGS IN ANALOG: CHRIS MATTHEWS IS A NEOCON WINGNUT DOUCHEBAG!

We're all primordial soup!

Left-wing bloggers continue to pile on MSNBC pundit Chris Matthews for being a right-wing tool because he observed that Michael Moore "sounds a lot like Osama bin Laden" about a month ago. Only time will tell if the former Jimmy Carter speechwriter, staffer for Tip O'Neill (D - Mass.), and staffer for Sen. Ed Muskie (D - Me.) will be able to withstand the withering attacks from the Kosslings and the Atrioshitheads.

Only blogger MC Hammer has yet to take a position on the matter.

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