Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Morizzle Mizzle

Sheeeeeit:

Why did I know, when I read the first paragraph of a March 13 story about the Minnesota state legislator who wants to require "clear English pronunciation" from instructors at state colleges and universities, that the lawmaker was going to be a Republican?

Is there no tolerance in that party for any diversity? Must we all be white, male and Christian to belong to the GOP? Must we now all speak with the same accent?

Shame on Rep. Bud Heidgerken for his bigoted proposal. Thickheaded proposals -- like his -- are more of a danger to our multicultural community than a thick accent.

FLEEBUH MDHFSAH, ST. PAUL.

Y dizid I's knizzle when I's readed tha fist paragrizzle o' dis shizznit that da peeps whoo writed it waz goin ta bee a flaymink icehole dooshbhag phaqwit?

Yoo wannah no whayt mee tink aysemuntch? Mee pherts reeakshun wiz alzo dat dees lejilayshun be writ bye a repubbikan cuz, az ah veekteem meslff ahv kollij instruktizzlez dat no speekie ingles, itt ceemz two mayke cents! Yoo doosh hed.

Itt seamz dat thizznit chitwhole hazz know problemo with studenz schellink oot tenz 'o tousandzz o' dollah fo' colleje, only two find dat they insruktorone izzz unpossible two unnerstan'. Butt know mattah - az long az we bee cherishing di-ver-si-tah!

Itt losst ahn dis jergofff dat pahrt ov "teachink" iz da abilitizzle ta camoonikate wit' yoo stoodenz. Hay - ain't you iz real annoyt wit' da way I izz writink dis post? An' dis blizzog izz fre! Imajink haffin' ta pizzay ah muchio di soldi ta set inn a clayass ware you kant leern aneetink cuz you got no fa king cloo what da intructizzle izz sa-in.

Eyell shoo ya a "big ott" yoo smell-mynded phuknobb eyeshole bastage-azz dummphak prik! Juss loog inda mirrah phaq hed.

Num notz.

(Translation available upon request)

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