Tuesday, April 04, 2006

DeLayed Gratification

This morning seismometers all over North America registered a tremor with a magnitude of approximately 7.5 on the Richter scale. This anomalous seismic event was the result of several hundred lefty bloggers experiencing a simultaneous orgasm as their Tom DeLay Masterbat-o-thon reached its conclusion:

Tom DeLay, the Texas republican representative and former House Majority Leader, and his wife, Christine, sat down at their kitchen table in Sugar Land, Texas, on Monday with TIME White House correspondent Mike Allen to explain DeLay's decision not to seek reelection, and to give up his Congressional seat in the next few months.

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DeLay: After the primary (March 7), I started looking at-reevaluating the primary-evaluating what the general election was going to be, looking at the landscape. I spent a lot of time talking to friends and people I have respect for and staff-Christine and I every day discussing what the future holds. And I'm very proud of my record and I feel very strongly about what the 22nd District that I represent deserves. I spent a lot of time in prayer. It was obvious to me-I'm a realist. I've been around awhile. I can evaluate political situations. And it was obvious to me that the 22nd District needed an election that discussed issues. It was obvious to me that this election had become a referendum on me.

I think it Confuciusious, or possibly some other very famous dead guy, who once remarked: "Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it."

And it was none other than me who said (just now): "I wouldn't shake hands with a lefty blogger for a couple of days - if ya' know what I mean."

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