Monday, April 03, 2006

Moron Mail

April Fools Day is over - let's fisk!

I'm perplexed over the continuing debate about a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage or any legal equivalent to it. I haven't noticed one single instance or mention of a case challenging the existing law that already limits marriage to "one man and one woman."

Funny, I have. It's called Goodridge v. Department of Public Health.

Oh, I'm sure you're saying that that's in Massachusetts. We're safe here in Minnesota.

Perhaps we should put off working on a vaccine for bird flu until your next door neighbor starts feeling a little feverish? Right?

Sorry, pal. You want to inflict your bullshit made-up "rights" on a populace through the compulsion of the judicial branch, then you've got to expect some blowback. Legitimate blowback done legitimately - with the franchise.

Come to think of it, -

No. You don't think. I'm done with you. Let's move on.

From the "Cry me a river" file:

SCHOOL FUNDING CRISIS

Listen, legislators

Albert Lea High School, like many others, is in a major budget crisis. We are cutting classes and teachers, and we may have to get rid of sports and fine arts, which give many students the fire to do their best in school.


I wouldn't worry about that. They'll cut bussing first. That's the one that hurts the parents (the taxpayers) the most. Then they'll hold an extortionary tax levy referendum in an odd-numbered year, which will pass easily, because taxpaying parents HATE having to get up an hour and a half earlier to drive their kids to school. About 10 days after the referendum election the school district will find $8 million they "like, totally forgot" to account for.

I live in ISD 196 - I know how these things work.

Right now it costs me and other classmates $120 just to participate in one sport.

Ohhhhhhhh you poor poor thing. It costs me over $200 per 10-week session for my four year-old's gymnastics class.

SHE'S FOUR!

And don't even get me started on dance class...

Y'know, you get your education at no cost. You get your books at no cost. Some even get their lunch at no cost.

HOW ABOUT PAYING FOR SOMETHING YOUR-FUCKING-SELF??????????

They tell us over and over that we are the most unhealthy, obese nation. I wonder why?

Because you can't get taxpayers to subsidize memberships to Bally's Total Fitness?

Please elect government officials who support good education and care about children. Tell them that children are their future -

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I JUST HAD A WHITNEY HOUSTON FLASHBACK!!!!!!!!!

ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

LEA ALBERT, ALBERT LEA, MINN.

...teach them well and
let them lead the way...

STOP IT!!!! MAKE THE BAD MAN STOP!!!!!!

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