Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Non Moron Mail

KAR (hearts) John Kline:

In a letter ("Hurricane relief? Far from it," Star Tribune South, March 29), a writer made claims that were simply wrong. The writer questioned where I was when FEMA, the nation's emergency relief agency, named its previous director. The answer to that senseless query was that I was in the House of Representatives, where I serve Minnesota's 2nd Congressional District. Rather than level misleading attacks, maybe the writer should study House and Senate procedure, where he would learn members of the House do not vote on presidential appointments or confirmations. The writer continues by placing all blame for Hurricane Katrina's problems at the federal level when in fact there were numerous mistakes made at the state and city level as well. The letter is just another recent example of how some will complain about anything and blame Republicans for everything. I suppose next I will be blamed for booting Mandisa off "American Idol."

JOHN KLINE

The writer represents the Minnesota's 2nd District in Congress.

Oh, snap!

I think I can say unequivocally, that John Kline needs to be a KAR contributor. If this letter doesn't prove that he possesses just the right mix of acerbic wit, sarcasm and intolerance for moron letter-to-the-editor writers, then I don't know what would.

As managing editor of KAR, I am offering Congressman Kline an invitation to be the 5th (4th? 3rd?) KAR blogger. I fully understand that certain publicly-funded bloggers in the local orbit might get their underoos in a wad over this, but I am willing to suffer their derision to get this guy on board. Whatever it takes.

Although, Rep. Kline, you would be subject to a couple of rules:

1) You would have to come up with a super-groovy nom de blog, like "Nuclear Football Guy" or "The Congressman of Love".

2) NO PUBLIC POLICY POSTS. We rip on moonbat rhetoric here. Generally, we're not idea guys. Plus this rule would help avoid some of the more Byzantine campaign laws.

3) No campaigning. See Rule 2.

4) At least one Colleen Rowley joke per day.

5) Must use at least one of the following words in every post: poop, dink, moron, barf, wiener, Sisyphus.

So, Congressman Kline, please get in touch with me ASAP to indicate your interest. Given what I have seen in the letter above, you would make a great contribution to our fine blog.

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