Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Preemptory Snarks

Every so often some twerpy blogger or another assails a counterpart from across the aisle with a bunch of loaded questions in a vain effort to arouse some suspicions as to that person's connections. You know- the semi monthly "Are you now, or have you ever been paid by the Republican Party?" line o' crap.

Well, since I have some free time now, with no guarantee that I will have any such leisure at some future time when I may become the target, here are my answers to any queries as to my "covert" connections to any political organizations. I have intentionally worded these replies broadly so as to make them applicable to any of these types of interrogatories.

Dear Moonbat Blogger:

Here are my replies to your queries regarding my affiliations with groups you oppose:

1. Piss off.

2. Get a life.

3. Don't you have an Art History midterm to study for, or something?

4. Again, I say, get a life.

5. Hey! I hear that Mark Kennedy will be making a public appearance in Minnesota within the next month. Quick - go write 7 posts accusing him of breaking campaign finance laws!

6. Say, I have an "anonymous source" too...

7. Ever notice how no "wingnut" bloggers have ever demanded that you answer insinuating questions regarding your affiliations with certain local campaigns? Wonder why that is...

8. Oh, that's right - it's because you need to get a life.

9. Did you know that I'm related to the late Frank Balistrieri? It's true.

10. You don't know who "Frankie Bal" was? Here, go educate yourself.

11. What? No more questions? Va bene.

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