And after years of said thinking, I've come to the following epiphany: If you are not:
- Between thirty-two and thirty-eight years old
- a townhouse dweller
- a country fan
- oozing contempt for any part of culture other than your own
- living in a city between 50,000 and 100,000
- of Irish descent
- a heavy drinker
- a private school graduate
Simple. That's all there is to it.
UPDATE: Ken from International Falls writes "What if I'm 40 and live in a town of 400 people?"
What part of "Then you are an idiot" do you not understand, Ken? In your case I'd add "mongoloid" and "child molester".
UPDATE 2: Johanna from Duluth writes: "I'm 36, married, attend Saint Lawrence Catholic Church, am a finance manager for a law firm, I adore Toby Keith and Big and Rich, I think reality TV shows are bunk, I graduated from Saint Agnes and Saint Thomas, I live with my husband in a townhouse, and I start every evening with three shots of Blackbush Irish Whiskey. How about me?"
When I want your opinion, toots, I'll grant you the right to have one. One more time - unless you pee standing up, go suck off a wino, just like your momma did to conceive you, and let the boys get the serious thinking done. No sale.