Saturday, April 01, 2006

Top 11 Reasons Why College Hockey Rules

11. Since only 15 or so schools have hockey programs, things are a lot easier to keep track of.

10. The Icing rule is the greatest rule in all of sports.

9. Hugh Hewitt doesn't know anything about hockey, which makes it easier to ridicule him.

8. Can impress friends by flawlessly pronouncing names like "Smaagaard," "Potulny," "Gauthier" and "Slattengren."

7. The Gopher's always dominate come tourney time.

7. No Duke.

6. It's much harder to throw an entire bench over the boards and onto the ice than it is to throw a chair onto the court.

5. Senseless violence in retaliation for being touched inappropriately by an opposing player's stick is tolerated.

4. You can almost see the puck 35% of the time.

3. In a hockey arena, you are not ridiculed for talking like a hoser.

2. Goaltending is legal.

1. Finally, a sport white people can excel at that doesn't involve "golfing".

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