Thursday, April 06, 2006

We're Nobody's Monkey (But We Are Somebody's Ebola)

Polinaut wants to know if any political bloggers that he reads are connected to political campaigns or candidates. Predictably, the responses range from straight, to smart-assed to "blow me, asshole".

It appears that KAR is on that list.

MEMO TO POLINAUT: You seem to be laboring under the mistaken assumption that most bloggers actually read other blogs. They don't. They merely scan other blogs quickly to see who is commenting on their latest scribblings of "wisdom". Fortunately, I'm not a publicity whore like some (read comment #3 to your survey post to see what one of those looks like) and on occasion do actually read other blogs. I didn't find out about your survey until I read about it in Residual Forces (through a haze of typos, misspellings and bad grammar).

However, most bloggers do pay laser-like attention to their site meters and referrer lists. So, if you really want wider participation, you should consider embedding hyperlinks to those blogs from whom you want a response. I guaran-damn-tee you that the average blogger, upon seeing your URL on his referrer list will be at your site in a little under 7 nanoseconds to see what you wrote about him.

End memo.

Since just about every person who responded to Polinaut's three questions employed a variation on the joke "no, I don't get paid to blog; but if you can hook me up..." I will spare our audience the same hackneyed cheekiness. Instead I'll -

Oh one more thing:

ANOTHER MEMO TO POLINAUT: KAR is not a "politics only" blog. That implies that we concern ourselves with "public policy". Along with politics (or more accurately, shredding the dimwitted rhetoric of the left) we also blog about sports, food, my kids, everyday life and poop. We like to talk smack. We castigate bloggers who write about tomatoes. We enjoy composing haikus.

It would be barely fair to even characterize us as "mostly politics." A more accurate description would be "outrage fueled mayhem and wackiness," or in Dementee's case "anger management."

But I digress.

End memo.

Where was I? Oh yeah - the survey:

1- Are you paid in any way by a campaign or candidate?

An answer in haiku:

Activists give me
Hives. Politicians make me
Want to poop. No cash.

Dementee would like to answer separately:

DEMENTEE: ME EAT WHAT ME KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well put.

2- Do you consult with campaign officials or party officials as to how the content on your site can be most beneficial to a particular candidate or party?

Moot question. Politicians and campaigns have little use for what we do best: haiku and poop talk.

3- Are you as an individual paid by a campaign or affiliated with an organization or company that has as a client, a particular campaign or political party?

Dementee?

DEMENTEE: THAT QUESTION SOMEWHAT REDUNDANT!!!!! LET DEMENTEE REITERATE: ME EAT WHAT ME KILL!!!!!!!!!! ANYTHING TO ADD FOOT????!!!!!!!

Yes.

I would just like to say: "poop."

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