Monday, May 15, 2006

the blog mart house

NOTE: This Saturday's "blog house" did not appear in the Strib, purportedly because its author, Tim O'Brien is on vacation. That turned out to be untrue. KAR has obtained an exclusive copy of the column which was to have run on Saturday, but was spiked by the editorial staff at the last minute. While the editors at the Strib thought that it stood up to the Strib's exacting standards of fair reporting, O'Brien alluded to a naughty word that should not be used in a family newspaper.

the blog house tim o'brien

I am the paragon of objectivity

The blogosphere was alive with vibrant conversation this week. The topics ranged from NSA's phone-tapping program to party nominating conventions. As usual I am here to provide a fair and balanced summary of the bloggy goings on, from a slavishly neutral point of view.

Party hack MDE sucks and I hope he gets hit by a bus

Michael Brodkorb of Minnesota Democrats Exposed (1) - a totally illegitimate blog in my unbiased opinion - took his single-chromosome partisan hatchet jobbery on the road this week. Blogging from Las Vegas, the notorious Republican propagandist posed the question "I wonder what Sinatra would say about the changes to Las Vegas?"

I'm sure Ol' Blue Eyes would say: "Get outta my city you wingnut bozo!"

Residual spell-check

Right-wing wingnut Republican propagandist and lovelorn blogger Andy Aplikowski (2) reached a personal milestone this week when he spelled the word "the" as "teh" for the 50,000th time.

Ana Marie Cox is a stone-cold hottie

I'm thinking of you Ana (3). Are you thinking about me? I long for your acerbic wit and the salty taste of your soft, pale flesh. I want to touch you and feel your breath on my neck. I have a burning in my loins to caress your buttocks in the moonlight.

Foolish fish photo fudging dooms Kennedy campaign

By far the big bombshell of the week was the discovery by the nonpartisan DFL Senate blog (4) that Senate candidate Mark Kennedy's campaign may have doctored a photo of the congressman holding a fish. As one commenter brilliantly put it: "WORST. PHOTOSHOP. EVER."

Learned Foot, the resident a-hole wingnut at the hyperpartisan wingnut blog Kool Aid Report (5) viciously attacked the poor, well-meaning souls at DFL Senate claiming that they were "hallucinating".

Eventually it came to light that the "worst photoshop ever" was actually not a photoshop job at all. However, the consensus among all the blogs that matter seemed to be that Kennedy was holding an unacceptably small fish which ipso facto makes him unfit to serve in the Senate.

In my unbiased opinion, I can't argue with that logic. Anybody who does is a small-minded fool.

SEE FOR YOURSELF HOW TO FIND BLOGS ONLINE

1 Minnesota Democrats Exposed - minnesotademocratsexposed.com
2 Residual Forces - residualforces.com
3 Ana, Oh Ana, I long for you - anamariecox.com
4 DFL Senate - fantasiesrus.com
5 Kool Aid Report - koolaidreport.blogspot.com

THE BLOGS IN ANALOG: MOONBATS HOLDING SIGNS.

Absolute zero.


Certain wingnut bloggers have taken to altering photographs of great patriotic citizens holding signs at protests. These are not legitimate blogs. If this journalist had his druthers, I'd ban the lot of these vicious attack blogs.

Photoshop boobery has no place in the legitimate blogosphere. And candidates for office who pose for pictures while holding fish out closer to the camera with the obvious intent to fool those with less perceptive eyes into thinking the fish is bigger than it actually is should withdraw from the race.

Disgusting!

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