Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Danny O'Keefe can teach us a lot about what's got Doug A11chin down

some gotta win
Some gotta lose
Good Time Charlie's got the blues
-Danny O'Keefe

Douglas A11chin of St. Paul doesn’t like the fact that in life there are winners and losers (An indication of Doug’s loser-ocity).

Give me a f&%$*#% break.

You my candy-assed chickenshit knob are fated to be a life long loser as are you kids and anyone who calls you “friend.”

This letter is so filled with touchy-feely, new-age, public education endorsed, ECFE-like, looser rhetoric I had to put the whole thing in (with emphasis only on the really stupid parts):

"American Idol" tipped its hand on May 17 (A2). The three semi-finalists split the vote so closely, it exposed the whole notion of a single winner as shameful.

Why the obsession with "winners" rather than many outstanding talents each worthy of recognition? The "winner-take-all" perspective permeates our cultural entertainment, from "Survivor" to athletic championships and TV game shows. The "Idol" results might remind us that humans generate and glorify all this competition. Nature did not force Social Darwinism upon us.

No surprise that this was the letter of the day.

Naming a winner is shameful. We are obsessed with winning.

What a crock of shit.

Under Doug's collectivist system everybody wins. Or, to look at it another way: nobody wins.

People like Doug don’t like winning and losing because they always come out on the short end.

I’m betting he got his ass kicked on a daily basis in school. I’m willing to wager that, when choosing teams in gym class or the neighborhood, the designated captains arm wrestled to determine which side would get stuck with the spindly Doug A11chin (methinks that name exposes the truth about Doug).

Doug is the whiner that ran home to mommy when called out at first because he couldn’t beat out a drive to the pitcher.

You are a loser, Doug.

L-O-S-E-R.

You suck at everything you’ve ever done and want to drag those who achieve down to your level of worthlessness.

You’re a L-O-S-E-R and an envious one to boot.

Get some sleep and wake up tomorrow ready to face the day and lose again.

See Doug lose today
And watch him lose tomorrow
Poor Doug his life sucks

LEARNEDFOOT ADDS: Don't be so hard on him, D. I think Doug's just stumbled onto the only way the Vikings could ever win- er, get - a championship. They'd just have to share the title with 31 other teams.

DEMENTEE ADDS: If that's the case, you can keep your championship. Several years ago George Thole - the legendary football coach for Stillwater High School - got weary of the ever-expanding classes of high school teams - A, AA, AAA, AAAA, AAAAA, etc. As a solution he suggested, with a mocking tone, that the high school league provide trophies to every team in the state and, at the end of the season, those teams that believed they did not earn their trophy could return it to the league. I fear we are approaching that point.

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