Thursday, May 04, 2006

Iron Maiden Can Also Teach Us a Lot About Redemption, Contrition and Forgiveness of Wayward Congressional Candidates (In the Same Song, Even)

...And the [LearnedFoot] shrieves the [candidate] of his sins.

The [candidate's staffer's] bound to tell of his story
To tell this tale wherever he goes
To teach God's word by his own example
That we must love all things that God made. --Iron Maiden

Well, this might be the shortest lived running gag in the history of KAR. We were all set to do this Dump Esmay thing, which wasn't intended so much to be a slam on him (although, passive observers should learn from this to never EVER give us an opportunity - any opportunity - to start a vendetta) as it was to be a parody of some semi-retarded, traffic-impaired hit trollers (yeah, you know who I'm talking about) who sorely deserve it.

But then the Esmay campaign had to go and take the wind out of our sails:

Gentlemen,

As the Esmay for Congress spokesman, I take full responsibility for recently removing KAR from our blogroll. The link was removed, after we felt hurt when you extended an invitation to Congressman Kline to join the KAR team while ignoring the only congressional candidate in Minnesota who actually blogs.

Well, two things about that:

First, John Kline is the Rep for 50% of us KARnies. Second, the letter by Kline I quoted in that post showed an impressive aptitude for rhetorically splitting open the guts of moonbat Strib letter writers and dancing on their entrails. And really, that's what we're all about.

For example, just today Mr. Esmay had a golden opportunity to do just that to an item of personal correspondence that he had received. Instead of castigating this moron as a semi-literate crackhole, he responded in a respectful and restrained manner.

That's not what we do here.

If the day arrives that Mr. Esmay is not campaigning for office, eliminating the need to be publicly civil, we would welcome, and seriously consider, his request for an audition.

As a symbolic olive branch, I have re-inserted KAR into our blogroll in the most coveted position (between Westover and Nihilist). Also, in the spirit of the aforementioned Kline letter, we pledge to include at least one American Idol reference in a future blog post. Jay takes his blogosphere reputation seriously and we hope that our wrongs can be righted and we can all just get along.

Esmay for Congress.

American Idol? He must be thinking about Doug. Unless that American Idol reference will be dripping with derision...

Anyway, we accept the Esmay campaign's apology and applaud its stand-upitude (stand-uppiness?) by reinstalling KAR on its blogroll. As a sign of our willingness to "just get along," not only will we call off the Dump Jay Esmay thing, but we shall also send Dementee to the 6th District Convention as an Esmay delegate.

I think Dementee lives in the 6th.

Like it matters - who's going to risk losing a limb trying to keep him out?

UPDATE: Delegate Dementee at a nominating convention just conjured this mental picture:

CHAIR: The scary looking guy with an arm hanging out of his mouth has the floor.

DEMENTEE: THANK YOU!!!!! ME MOVE TO PROPOSE RESOLUTION THAT CALL FOR DEMENTEE TO EAT AL GORE!!!!!!!!

CHAIR: All opposed?

[silence]

CHAIR: Motion carries!

DEMENTEE: TEE HEE HEE!!!!!!!!!!

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