Thursday, May 11, 2006

Moron Mail or Stone Temple Pilots Song?

Below are three excerpts. One of them is today's Moron Mail. The other two are decoys - passages from two of my favorite Stone Temple Pilots songs written and recorded back when Scott Weiland was at his most drug-addled. Try to guess which one is the Moron Mail (HINT: look for the one that makes the least amount of sense).

1) So, wasting time chasing those cows that fly. Churning out all that butterfly sugarboost. Track the blade as it sweeps downward and onward. Take a pill: it'll kill all the martyrs, martyrs.

Passing time ripping as time kicks by. Pass the umbilical cord down for this fly by. Take a sneak while the model earns it - earns it. Hike a mile as it keeps crawling on crawling on.

2) Waiting on a Sunday afternoon, for what I read between the lines - your lies! Feeling like a hand in rusted shame, so do you laugh or does it cry? Reply?

Leaving on a southern train - only yesterday you lied. Promises of what I seemed to be only watched the time go by. All of these things you said to me.

Breathing is the hardest thing to do. With all I've said and, all that's dead for you - you lied! Good bye!

This is tougher than it looks, isn't it? Was that yet another "Bush Lied / Millions Died! Let's impeach Bush!" fevered hallucination of a Strib correspondent, or merely a drug hallucination of Scott Weiland?

Here's the 3rd option:

3) The Iranian president's letter to President Bush, citing their religious common ground, is an interesting event that could open up the opportunity for much-needed dialogue between radical Islam and the West. I hope it is not dismissed as a propaganda ploy.

Someone with U.S. backing should organize a conference to facilitate discussion among Iranian clerics, fundamentalist Christians, secularists and experts on various civilizations to clear the air on ideological differences that may otherwise lead to war.

Seize this opportunity to talk, and we may find ways other than nuclear confrontation to deal with each other.

OK. So which ones are the nonsensical surrealistic narcotic musings of a talented yet tragicly nihilistic performer, and which is the nonsensical unrealistic ramblings of a Strib lobotomite?

I'm interested in seeing how many get this one right.

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