Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Dejaculation

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DEMENTEE: WHAT THAT NOISE?????!!!!!

BILL: That's the Great Leftyblog Patrick Fitzgerald Plame Leak Investigation Masturbate-o-thon. It's been going on for like 10 months straight. Haven't you heard it.

DEM: NO!!!!!! ME GOT NEW IPOD AROUND THEN!!!!!!!!

LEARNEDFOOT: I've actually been able to tune it out. It took a while, but it had to be done. It's hard to concentrate when you have the constant noise of a million moonbats whacking themselves off simultaneously.

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DEM: DAMN!!!!! THAT REALLY ANNOYING!!!!!!

LF: You'll get used to it. Besides, it can't go on for much longer. A couple of weeks ago, some reputable moonbat blogs wrote that indictments against Karl Rove were "imminent". Hopefully we'll see them in the next couple of days so the moonbats can shoot their loads, and we can get on with our lives in peace.

BILL: Indeed. In fact one of those blogs - called "Truthout," so you know it's accurate - actually phrased the lede to the post as if those indictments have already been drawn up:


Karl Rove Indicted on Charges of Perjury, Lying to
Investigators By Jason Leopold


Not much room for doubt there. He even based his story on two - count 'em two! - anonymous sources. That's solid journalism. Democrats.com put it this way:


Rove Indictment is Imminent

Karl Rove gave up the policy part of his job for a simple reason: he's about to
be indicted and frog-marched out of the White House in handcuffs, thus making Joe
Wilson's dream
come true.


Compelling analysis, that.

...

BILL: Wait a minute...

...

LF: Hear that? The noise stopped.

DEM: CURIOUS!!!!!!!!

LF: What the hell...

...

LF: OMG! You guys are going to laugh:


Top White House aide Karl Rove has been told by prosecutors he won't be charged
with any crimes in the investigation into the leak of a CIA officer's identity,
his lawyer said Tuesday, lifting a heavy burden from one of President Bush's
most trusted advisers.

Attorney Robert Luskin said that special
prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald informed him of the decision on Monday, ending
months of speculation about the fate of Rove, the architect of Bush's 2004
re-election now focused on stopping Democrats from capturing the House or Senate
in this November's elections.


DEM: HA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!

BILL: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

LF: *snort* Pepsi...just...shot...out my nose!

BILL: Awwwww yeah.

DEM: ME NOT HAVE THIS MUCH FUN SINCE BUFFET AT YEARLY KOS!!!!!!!!!!

LF: Ah. It satisfying to watch these assholes tumble headlong into a hole that they themselves dug by publishing a "news" story that reflected their hopes and dreams (what pathetic dreams BTW) rather than reality.

BILL: How much you wanna bet that right now, the lifeforms behind "Truth"out are furiously pounding out a story about how Rove got off the hook by offering up testimony to implicate Dick Cheney?

DEM: NO BOOKIE IN RIGHT MIND WOULD TAKE THAT ACTION!!!!!!!!!

BILL: Hahahahahahahahahaahahah!!!!!

DEM: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

LF: OK, guys, that's enough. - While the taunting and grim satisfaction of watching a moonbat's blog cred evaporate before your very eyes is fun, let's remember to have a little compassion here.

BILL: Compassion? What the hell for?

DEM: OH MY GOD!!!!!!! BILL SAID NAUGHTY WORD!!!!!!!!

LF: We must have compassion for all those moonbats out there with sore genitals and nothing to show for it.

DEM: *sigh* WORD!

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