Thursday, June 15, 2006

Eat at Joe's

Oh to live in the happy-happy-joy-joy-let's-all-hold-hands-and-share-a-Coke-rainbows-and-unicorns-love-will-find-a-way-seashells-and-balloons world of a career diplomat:

Former U.S. Ambassador Joseph Wilson, whose wife was at the center of a CIA leak case that led to the indictment of Vice President Cheney's top aide, argued Wednesday that the U.S. needs to bring Iraqi insurgents and their "foreign patrons" to the conference table for negotiations.

During a panel discussion at the liberal Take Back America conference in Washington, D.C., Wilson said diplomatic efforts to establish Iraq as a democratic power in the region should also include "the Egyptians, the Jordanians, the Saudis, the Iranians ... the Turks, probably some leading powers from Europe and Russia, all of whom have interests at stake."

Peace talks with people who indisciminately kill for no other purpose than to install an new Taliban.

It doesn't take a rocket surgeon to see at which point these negotiations might hit an impasse. Oh we've encountered this line of "thought" before. But this time it's -

DEMENTEE INTERRUPT: YOU MIND IF DEMENTEE TAKE THIS ONE, FOOT?????!!!!!!! ME REALLY WANT TO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAT THIS MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOE WILSON INTERRUPTS: Well, Mr. Dementee, let's talk about that.

DEM: TALK ABOUT WHAT???????!!!!!!!!!

JOE: We need to open a dialogue about your constant desire to eat people with whom you disagree. Like me, for instance.

DEM: NO!!!!!! ME NOT EAT JUST ANYONE WHO DISAGREE WITH DEMENTEE!!!!!!! ME ONLY EAT MORONIC OR NARCISSISTIC MOONBAT LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOE: I see. And how does that make you feel? After eating one of these moonbats?

DEM: FULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOE: I see. Don't you think that there might be more constructive ways of dealing with your conflicts? Let me tell you: when our lives were in a shambles after my wife's career was ruined by Karl Rove -

DEM: KARL ROVE EXONERATED!!!!!! YOU MAKING DEMENTEE VERY HUNGRY ASSFACE!!!!!!

JOE: Oh no. Karl Rove broke the law and should be sent to prison. Any rational human being like me knows that Fitzgerald's refusal to indict Rove means he's guilty of a capital offense and should get the death penalty.

DEM: ONLY THING ROVE GUILTY OF IS HANDING MOONBATS THEIR ASSES IN EVERY ELECTION!!!!!! WHERE MY FORK????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JOE: Let's just put that aside and focus on this negotiation. Let me ask you: what is it that you need? What do you hope to gain from this talk we're having?

DEM: FULL TUMMY AFTER EATING JOE WILSON a la KING!!!!!!!!!!!

JOE: Now Dementee, you know that is an unacceptable outcome of this negotiation. I implore you to do some introspection on your motives. I believe that you only want to eat me because I make you angry. And why do I make you angry?

DEM: BECAUSE YOU A DUMBSHIT!!!!!!!

JOE: Well, that's your opinion. There are others who think that I am the smartest person on earth.

DEM: YEAH - THEY CALLED "MOM & DAD"!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

JOE: I am sorry to see that you are not taking this dialogue seriously. I urge you to rethink your motives and work toward what's in the best interests of everyone. If you eat me, the only person who will be satisfied is yourself. And as time goes by, you will come to find that your momentary catharsis from digesting me will fade, and you'll again be on the prowl to kill another moonbat. It's a cycle of violence that only you can stop. But it is a cycle that sooner or later you must stop.

DEM: M-HMM!!!! YES!!!! YOU MAKE SOME VERY GOOD POINTS THERE!!!!!!!

JOE: I am glad that you are seeing it my way. Can we now move forward with a common understanding of peace and brotherhood?

DEM: ME SUPPOSE!!!!!

JOE: Great! Man, I am one good diplomat! Now I'm off to Martha's Vinyard to -

DEM: RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

DEM: CHOMP!!!!!!!

JOE: AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeee!!!

DEM: *burp* YUMMY!!!!!

DEM: DEMENTEE ONE HELL OF NEGOTIATOR!!!!!!!

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