Monday, June 26, 2006

Moron Bloggers

Foot has pretty well cornered the franchise on fisking the bejeebus out of morons who write letters to the Star/Tribune.

But one needn't look far to find equal or greater stupidity elsewhere.

Leftybloggers all seem to admire the local leftyblog "Minvolved". I figured I'd take a quick read.

This steaming pile of crap piece, written by someone named "LimpBung" (I might be mistaken. I apologize; I couldn't see, since I was so busy trying to scratch my eyes out), is a wonderous introduction.

LimpBung seems to have missed the memo from leftyblog central: it's the conservatives who are supposed to make the absurd, self-indulgent, black and white comparisons; liberals are the people of nuance:
Deadeye Dick Cheney is in town...fundraiser for noted homophobe/wackjob Michele Bachmann, who’s running for Congress over in the 6th District against a decent and honorable Patty Wetterling.
Paging Brian Melendez; your next copywriter is here!

Cheney’s daughter, Mary, has a nice government job and an astonishing $1.5 Million advance on a dud book that sold about 1,500 copies. She also has a life partner of more than ten years duration, whom she cannot marry in any state but Massachusetts.

Let's hang on a minute; I'm confused. Is Mary Cheney a rotten person because she's a lesbian who's working for the "homophobic" adminstration? Or a victim of the administration?

LimpBung apparently can't keep a thought straight.

Karl Rove is also nearby tomorrow, speaking at the Sunnyside Country Club, 1600 Olympic Drive, in Waterloo, Iowa at 12:30 p.m., followed by another campaign appearance over in Des Moines. Our favorite unindicted co-conspirator, the fellow whose face should be on every manure spreader in America while buried in a penitentiary-provided pillow for at least twenty years.

Why either of these people are allowed to roam free completely escapes me.

The Democrats' next strategy - victory through jailing your opponents?

LimpBung - Rove got off! No charges were brought! You do not get to second-guess his guilt, because there is no charge! It is as if there was an accusation floating about that LimpBung was an ignorant oozefuck and a writer with less talent than one of Ryan Rhodes' turds.

Except here's the key difference; while no charges were brought against Rove, the above accusations would result in a two-count indictment, two convictions, and a rhetorical death sentence that would be carried out while LimpBung's supporters bitched that the trial was stolen because, while the jury voted 12-0 to convict, incarcerate and execute, "exit polls" of liberal nutfondles who'd never attended the trial were overwhelmingly in favor of acquittal.

Cheney is probably the most dangerous man in the world, thanks to his inept aggressiveness.
Then Howard Dean is Suge Knight.

In the meantime, the cocktail/graduation party circuit is coming up with comments like, “Ellison (DFL-endorsed candidate for CD-5) just isn’t ready for prime time. They should have endorsed someone seasoned, like Reichgott-Junge,” and “What’s Erlandson up to, anyway?”

This actually explains a lot. LimpBung still hangs out at graduation parties; he/she is probably a recent grad him/her/itself. Which indicates that his/her/its opinion is worth nothing.

Bung. Bubbie. Get back to us when you've had a job and paid some rent for a while. Until then, you and your opinion are worth nothing.

Except as a warning about where the Deranged Fuckwit Lice party is headed:

In the meantime, [anti-semitic Farrakhanite Keith] Ellison is starting to remind me of Wellstone - energetic, decent, and dedicated. Reichgott-Junge may be all of these, plus experienced, but what’s the use of the party endorsement process if we can’t stick with it? If we’re going to fight, we’d better stay organized and fight the enemy instead of each other.

Even if you are electing someone whose past is deeply morally repugnant - unless you're an antisemite with deep sympathies for those who'd destroy this nation, its people, and even piddlecranks like LimpBung.

When we do this, we lose all foundation and reason for national pride and patriotism - and any reason to serve or defend our country. No nation can survive the expense of maintaining a mercenary army for long. By effectively eliminating the draft, we have taken every liberal and progressive thread out of our military, and turned the entire machine over to the conservatives. This has left us with an enormously efficient funding mechanism for fascism.

LimpBung; kindly go to any military base and call them "mercenaries" and "fascists" to their face.

W and Rove stole Florida in 2000 and Ohio in 2004 by suppressing voters’ rights.
[scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatch]

Oh, why do I bother?

Because it's so entertaining, what's why:

So how do we wake up the white folks in the suburbs, anyway?

Uhhhh...the same way you "wake up" anybody: tell them they're idiots, call them fascists, jack up their taxes as you dumb down the schools (need evidence? Read LimpBung), and then stand on a soapbox in the middle of Apple Valley and bellow "Wake Up, Silly Suburbanites!"

Yep. That's the ticket. Get on it, Limp.



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