Friday, June 30, 2006

Moron Mail

Oh look - a muppet:

Time for a change

Our family received a beautiful piece of campaign literature in the mail from John Kline. It contained four pages of full-color photographs of smiling families enjoying the benefits of his votes for the war in Iraq, against funding for education, and for elimination of taxes on Carl Pohlad's billions. And, of course, "eliminating government waste."

"Campaign literature" - Note to KAR-Nation: bookmark that phrase.

As for the rest of this DFL cut-n-paste job crap: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Mr. Kline, here's some government waste to start with: Don't print and mail your campaign literature at taxpayer expense – it's illegal.

Recall that phrase I asked you to remember? (HINT: "Campaign literature"). Now there's this thing called the "franking privilege" that allows elected officials to use the US Post for free. Everybody does that. Even Colleen Rowley (if she were to become, God-forbid, Congressman Rowley) would probably use the franking perk to copy the New York Times and the Strib on some memo to her staff describing whatever her latest breathtaking revelation is.

But that's not what makes this letter so moron-licious.

What does is the brazen assumption, asserted as documentable fact, that this campaign lit piece (if that's what it really is) was illegally produced using taxpayer money.

Was it? How does Creep-o know? How close does this actually come to libel?

All good questions, easily answered using the same in-depthinvestigatoryy techniques that Creepface employs:

1) Probably not.

2) He doesn't. He's just another dumb-assed DFL sock-puppet.

3) Fairly close.

The 2nd Congressional District needs an advocate for Minnesota families, not glossy photos of professional models posed in front of Washington's cherry trees. It's time for a change in the 2nd District. It's time to elect Coleen Rowley to Congress.

JOSEPH CREEP-O
Eagan

Jeebus! The element has really crept into Eagan since I moved away from that town.

The writer is a volunteer for Coleen Rowley's campaign.

No shit? I couldn't tell.

And that concludes this installment of -

HOLD THE PRESSES!!! This just in:

Summer's toxic toys

Well, it's that time of the year again, when you would like to open the windows and doors and get some fresh air, right? Not so; between the charcoal grills and the charcoal smokers, I have to close up everything by 6 p.m. almost every night. When are they going to pass a law against those toxic toys? I've had it.

A. FLAMINGHYPERSENSITIVEDIPSHITOFMONUMENTALPROPORTIONS

Ban grills?

Pass a law against...

barbecue grills?

You have GOT to be kidding me.

...

Pass a law...

banning...

grilling.

Now I know out here in the internet ether known as the "political blogosphere" we have our disagreements. Often we have outright spittle-flecked rhetorical loogie hocking donnybrooks over some of our sharper disagreements. But here, I think we have an issue that we can all agree on, liberal or conservative; moonbat or wingnut:

KEEP YOUR LAWS OFF MY GRILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You stupid wiener

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