Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Moron Mail

Wow:

THE IRRESPONSIBLE 'WE'

No sacrifice is no good

While pumping $3 gas in 99-degree heat, [I guess you should have stayed in school. -ed] it occurred to me: "We get what we deserve." By "we" I mean all Americans. By "we" I mean all you folks who keep voting Republican.

HANDY WRITING TIP: In most cases, you will come off sounding incoherent if you write the same way you talk. (That is an actual stylistic maxim; not one made up for purposes of this screed.)

Years of ridiculing environmental policies have come home to roost as high gas prices and global warming.

Lower gas prices can be obtained by increasing supply - not just by lowering demand. To increase supply, you need to expand exploration and drilling, and allow more refineries to be built. I'm not aware that the opposite was the Republican platform. But I'll reiterate: you should have stayed in school.

As for the global warming thing, I once again point to my favorite Inconvenient Chart, that shows that surface temperature and carbon population of the atmosphere have been cycling up and down long before Republicans existed.

Unfortunately, the free-lunch philosophy of conservatives doesn't stop at simple gluttony.

Wait a minute waitaminute waitaminute! "Free-lunch philosophy of conservatives?" Excuse me? What were y'all calling us back in the welfare reform days?

Their lazy patriotism sends poor kids to Iraq while doling out tax cuts.

DNC Talking point #1!

Rather than pay for public infrastructure like highways, credit-card-Republicans pass the bill to our kids.

DNC Talking point #2!

And if we built more highways, wouldn't that encourage more motorists in more cars burning more fossil fuels causing more hysterical junk science?

MEMO TO DNC: You might want to try annotating your talking points so that, in the future, you can avoid having bozos like this make you look bad.

And worst of all, right-wingers persuade us to vote for them by appealing to our baser instincts -- and by convincing us someone else is to blame.

Trifecta!

It's time we reject this no-sacrifice, irresponsible model. In November, when the temperature (I hope) isn't 99 degrees, "we" need to elect more responsible leadership.

MEMO TO SLAPNUTS: "Sacrifice" is a personal virtue. It is not a governmental mandate. And it certainly is no way to run an economy.

My next door neighbor is from Vietnam. In fact he's over there right now visiting his family. When he returns, I'm sure he'd be happy to talk to you about the glories of government-mandated "sacrifice". (Sneak preview: it doesn't work real well.) He and I were discussing the Glorious Society ushered in there by the government-mandated "sacrifice" crowd just before he left.

You could hear the anger in his voice increasing the more he detailed it.

Yeeeeeeeeaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!

OK, I added that last line.

RYAN PUKEYBUTT, MINNEAPOLIS

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