Wednesday, August 02, 2006

An Open Letter to KARE 11

Dear KARE 11,

I enjoy watching your 5:00pm or 6:00pm weekday newscasts. In fact, your program is by far the most watchable of the local evening newscasts.

I like to unwind after a long day's toil by eating dinner with my family and watching your news. However, there is I problem I'd like you to address: your constant, never-ending and incessant pimping of the current featured exhibit at The Science Museum, Body Worlds.

You see, I have no problem watching your reporters discuss or report on the latest murder, the heat wave, or even (shudder) Chris Coleman. However, I am getting just a little sick of having to endure video of hacked up corpses while I'm eating.

Think about it (and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way): would you want to be looking at dessicated and flayed cadavers with their brains exploding out of their skulls while trying to choke down your sweet sausage & rigaton'?

I don't think so.

And lest you think I'm overly squeamish, I'll have you know that when my high school biology class visited Marquette University's Gross anatomy lab on Chest Cavity Day, I was one of the few that didn't turn white and flee the room at the first sight of a human spleen.

But I also WASN'T EATING MY FUCKING DINNER at the time.

I would appreciate your urgent attention to this matter. However, if you feel the need to continue airing these ads, I will have no choice but to track down Mike Pomerantz and barf on his wingtips.

Warm Regards,

LearnedFoot

P.S. While you're at it, could you find whoever it was that came up with that toe nail fungus commercial (you know, the animated one where an anthropomorphized toenail fungus critter lifts up a toe nail like a car hood and crawls under it) and shoot him.

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