Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The CBS Evening News: Now With 30% More Perkiness!

I, like 17% of this nation's money demographic, tuned in to The Big Debut of Katie Couric last night. I was planning on doing a full review here today, but my attention was continually distracted by Moonchild throwing a tennis ball at the television. And the wall. And my head. I think he may have had one too many last night.

Anyway, as far as I can tell from the initial broadcast, CBS merely replaced one boob with two. My reaction to the new CBS EN was similar to what I remember when it was anchored by The Dan: the vomit rising to the very top of my throat, but thankfully, no farther.

Of course, the big moment of anticipation came at the end of the show. What would Katie use as her signature sign-off? Would she go old school with "Good night and good luck" or "That's the way it was"? Would she throw a bone to her disgraced predacessor and use "Courage"? Or maybe a tribute to a stalwart from another network, like a Tom Brokaw-esque "Wawawawawa." Or would it be something new - cutting edge and extremely groovy?

It turned out to be none of the above. She punted. She threw it to the audience to pick one.

How lame.

But it got me to thinking: my efforts to hone the KAR brand would be well served with a catchy, trademark signoff at the end of each post. So from now on, I shall end each post with a signoff, and take my place beside the greats: the Cronkites and the Murrows.

Blow me sphincter boy!

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