Thursday, September 21, 2006

A Celebration in Thunderjournalism in Which A Happy Fun Blogger Creates a Ridiculous Satire

Good beginning of the day, Happy Young People. Welcome to your first day here at Paul Wellstone Comfortable Center Palace o' Learning. I am your Coordinator of Fun, Truth and Fact, Ms. Flemlasky. I will write my name of the Chalk-Enhanced Slate of Illumination, so you can acquire the Correct Order of the Symbols of Sound and Fun.

Now that you are Comfortable Center Palace Learners, you will be expected to master more Enlightenment Materials faster. But of course that means much more fun! I will now provide you with an overview of the handout you have on your desk: the Semiannual Schedule of Enlightenment Parties.

We will start each day with the Having a Super Time With Numbers Party. This year you will be expected to enjoy Making Numbers Bigger in Multiples, Making Numbers Smaller by Multiples (including some which give you an Extra Bonus Number left over), and doing the same With Numbers that Have Been Cut Down to Fun-Sized pieces!

Next up in your Party Day will be Gettin' Down With Your Mother Tongue! We will experience many super-nifty examples of Happy People Who Write Words for Us to Enjoy. You will even have several chances to write your own groups of words for me to enjoy.

Then you'll have your Mandatory Nutrition Intake Hour.

After Mandatory Nutrition Intake Hour, you will experience the Many Possibilities of Cool Explosions Party Hour. You will become illuminated in the very basic super-neat elements of our Mother Earth. Sometimes your Beaker Toting Supervisor of Fun and Learning will mix the wrong fruits of Mother Earth together and hilarity ensues!

At 2:00 each day, you will experience Adventures in American Diversity in Past Events. You will learn about the most important minorities of the past like Frederich Douglass, Susan B Anthony and Millard Fillmore - our first probably-gay president.

Finally, you will end your daily Party of Enlightenment with gym class and a group hug.

Remember: you are Comfortable Center Palace Learners now. That means you will have Celebrations of Learning almost every night. Please, please - keep your applause down. I encourage you to spend a sufficient amount of time on your Celebrations of Learning, but don't get carried away. While Celebrations of Learning are undoubtedly fun and groovy, you do need your Nightly Unconscious Super Happy Fun Battery Recharging every night, so that you're fresh and ready to Party Hard here the next day.

Any questions? Good. Let's party.

Please open your Former Beautiful Trees Bearing Wisdom About Numbers to page 1...

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