Monday, September 18, 2006

I Am a Walking Contusion and Other Thunderjournalistic Navel-Gazery

Since the favorite topic of bloggers and Thunderjournalists is themselves, let's have at it:

Mitch = French

The final shot has been fired in Blog Wars 1 (The Phantom Ecker). I would have escaped relatively unscathed had it not been for the exercise in brutality known as "The President Game," in which I got shot about 97,000 times. You can read all about it here, here or here (with pictures!). I have little else to add to those accounts save for this:

No liberal bloggers showed up. Mitch "I Am So There!" Berg didn't show up. Draw your own conclusions.

Insult to (Avoiding) Injury

Perhaps the reason Mitch dodged the Blog War was some sort of heart-rending depression caused by having his quote in Saturday's "Blog House" paired with one from a rancidly delusional lefty blog.

I mean this blog is so bad, that any time there's an election in which the most psychopathically communist candidate doesn't win, they cry "fraud!"

And O'Brien gave them the last word over Mitch. But you'd think that would motivate Mitch to shoot things...

Seventh Great War Against the Nihilist in Golf Pants Narrowly Averted

KAR returns to the top spot on the Nihilist's Top 11 Blogs list, having been briefly deported to #2. Since Notre Dame lost both its game and any realistic chance for a national championship to Michigan, ND Nation falls back behind us, where it belongs. Good thing too - things might have gotten ugly had Notre Dame kept winning deep into the season.

Peace in our time!

Dude Needs to Work on His Branding

Fellow thunderjournalist Ryan Rhodes returns from Vegas to find that someone thinks he writes a weather blog (for those of you unfamiliar with Ryan's work, his thunderjournal mainly concerns itself with asses, and ass-related observations).

Forecast calls for a 30% chance of profanity.

Separated at Birth?

Democratic Underground and...

Anti-Strib(*)?

?????

Yikes!

Background: a couple of weeks ago Andy from Rezijewall Froces met one Joe Tucci at Keegan's. Since Andy was having a tough time fending off Sue Jeffers' comment trolls and certain other pompous varieties of cheese, he decided to hire on Joe as his "muscle".

Unfortunately, Joe took this to mean that he was being "straightened out," or "made," so he thought he was obligated to "make his bones" to fully earn Andy's trust. So he lured some patsies out into the open and clipped them.

As for his choice of patsy, I'm afraid that I have to take the blame for that. During a conversation I had with Joe, I happened to mention in passing that the leader of Anti Strib had RSVPed for the Post-MilF party, but never showed up. While that is poor form, it certainly isn't a whackable offense.

So, in short, even though Joe Tucci thought he was doing right by me and Andy, these were not sanctioned hits. Joe Tucci has sent his apologies.

Of course, that doesn't excuse the knee-jerk and downright ignorant comments left in both the thread linked above and RF. To wit, the Anti Strib Society assumed Joe Tucci and Andy were:

* A liberal

* Dickless

* A "low-rent" Joe Pesci

(Those who are well acquainted with Tucci and Andy are no doubt rolling on the floor in laughter right now. And just to be clear on the 3rd point: the 6'1" 190 pound Tucci models himself more after KAR hero Tony Sirico.)

And then, sensing weakness, Andy's archnemesis, Stinky Mr. Limberger himself had to jump in:

Well, at least more people are seeing the real intellectual punch provided at RF.

I will answer the open letter for you...basically, to disagree with any aspect of the GOP mantra (that Kennedy, Pawlenty, et al. are the perfection of 'conservativism') is to be liberal.

Isn't that what the ASS called Andy & Tucci? "Lefties?" More:

Truth is, they think you suck because you think for yourselves (which they cannot do) and you have the onions to engage in a debate on issues...something they are 100% incapable of doing.

(Scrolling to the top of the blog again...)

Hey Bill?! Why did we name this thunderjournal the "Kool Aid Report" again?

Well, I suppose that it doesn't take that much more intellectual heft to know that you just got played. Tony, as usual is wrong. Tucci (or Andy) actually donn't think Anti Strib sucks. In fact, Anti-Strib frequently gives MnObserver heartburn, which earns them this thunderjournalist's undying admiration. The fact is, Tucci just wanted to make his bones.

But just in case, Joe Tucci forwarded me all the nasty commments they left on RF, should the need ever arise to illustrate what it looks like when ignoramouses jump to hasty conclusions.

* Does not apply to Sequel and Badda. Both Tucci and KAR understand that they are stand-up guys.

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