Thursday, September 07, 2006

Live Blogging NFL Opening Night '06

7:15 - I tuned in just in time to miss Rascal Flats. Score!

7:18 - They're now commemorating all the past Steelers championship teams. Wallow in it Pittsburgh; you deserve it.

7:19 - They just announced the Steelers' latest championship team - the current one. They're running on to the field.

7:19:05 - HOLY SHIT!!!! A loud bang and a bright flash of light! The terrorists have struck Pittsburgh!!!! Oh my God. Oh my God!!!!

7:19:30 - The cameras that haven't been vaporized are now showing flames shooting out of the top of the stadium. What's that noise?

7:19:35 - OH SHIT!!!! The terrorists are PIPING STYX INTO THE STADIUM!!! Oh the humanity!! The humanity!!!! Have the Islamocommienazis have no decency???!!! Does their cruelty know any boundary???!!! This is horrible!!!

Dave? Are you there buddy? Dave? DAVE?????!!!!!! LIVE DAMN YOU! LIVE!!! IRON MAIDEN WANTS YOU TO LIVE!!!!

7:20 - There are aerial shots now, with more blinding lights and loud reports. Styx is still playing. I can't go on. I can't stand by and watch this horrible tragedy any more. I must contact my loved ones in Pittsburgh - the ones that remain alive - and apprise the status of their safety.

7:21 - Just realized that I have no loved ones in Pittsburgh, and...

7:22 - ...that those absurdly intense flashes and booming noises were fireworks.

7:23 - I feel like an ass...

7:28 - HOLY SHIT!!! Pink is singing!!!! OH THE HUMANITY!!!!

This liveblog is over!

7:59 - Almost forgot:

This is LearnedFoot saying good night and...dingleberries!

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