Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Moonbat Outrage Reserve Levels at All Time Low

That's just a guess, of course. But the more you look at it, the more obvious it seems that, for some, the anger over the illegalunjustimmoralwarinIraq just isn't floating their boats any more, so they're trying really hard to find something else that pisses them off. For instance, you now have dumbshit philosophy professors all of a sudden acquiring expertise on the melting point of structural steel and making other bogus half-truths to claim that the government perpetrated -or was at least complicit in - the 9/11 attacks.

It's perplexing that these sorry excuses of human beings feces are getting all this attention. One's normal reaction when seeing a raving lunatic babbling incoherently on a street corner is to avoid eye contact and move on as quickly as possible. In the last couple of weeks, the press has not only engaged these fruitballs, but have actually considered it good copy.

But in any event, I'm convinced that these loony toons' are just trying to get outraged about something since they haven't had much new to get outraged about in the past year or so.

Well, there was that 9/11 movie on ABC, but that's over now. And Fitzmas (which was - let's face it - mock outrage, since these a-holes have always despised the CIA and everything it does) was a dud. But really, neither of those could have compared to the orgasmic outrage to be gleened from charging the president they despise with mass murder.

But what if you're not a moonbat kook? What if you're an apolitical animal-loving kook. You know the kind I'm talking about - the ones who cry like the little bitches they are at the end of Old Yeller when the dog dies, but bat not one eyelash when scads of human beings are portaryed dying in a movie like Schindler's List.

Well, those kooks finally found a fictional something to get upset about too:

Breakfast food company Kellogg's has come under fire from animal lovers furious about a television advert showing a man riding a dog like a horse.

Nearly 100 complaints have been made against the new Crunchy Nut Cornflakes advert, which shows a very small man finishing work and riding home on the back of an Irish Wolfhound.

Dog lovers say the behaviour in the scene is cruel and could be copied by children.

Get.

A.

Life.

When filming the ad, nobody rode on the dog. It was a CGI effect.

Get. A. Life.

Although, they may have a point about children, inspired by this ad, mounting Rover and causing the poor pooch serious injury.

Like that's never happened before.

This is all too reminiscent of the Great Apple Jacks Fruit Outrage of '05, when the Center or "Science" in the "Public" "Interest" put Kellogg's in the crosshairs, charging the breakfast cereal purveyor of being fruitist.

Get. A. Life.

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