Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A White House Press Conference Is Different from Kindergarten How, Exactly?

The following is the transcript of the White House press conference in which NBC ubersnotbag David Gregory and Press Secretary Tony Snow got into a bit of a dustup:

Q Actually, Tony, I don't think that's fair, if you look at the facts. If you look at the facts.

MR. SNOW: Well, I do, because -- no, because, for instance --

Q No, no, no. No, I don't think you should be able to just wipe that, kind of dismiss the question --

MR. SNOW: Well, let me --

Q It's not a Democratic argument, Tony.

MR. SNOW: Let me answer the question, David.

Q But hold on, let's not let you get away with saying that's a Democratic argument.

MR. SNOW: Okay, let me -- let's not let you get away with being rude. Let me just answer the question, and you can come back at me.

Q Excuse me. Don't point your finger at me. I'm not being rude.

MR. SNOW: Yes, you are.

Q Don't try to dismiss me as making a Democratic argument, Tony, when I'm speaking fact.

MR. SNOW: Well, okay -- well, no --

Q You can do that to the Democrats; don't do it to me.

MR. SNOW: No, I'm doing it to you because the second part was factually tendentious, okay? Now, when you were talking about the fact that it failed to adapt, that's just flat wrong. And you will be -- there has been -- there have been repeated attempts to try to adapt to military realities, to diplomatic realities, to development of new weapons and tools on the part of al Qaeda, including the very creative use of the Internet. So the idea that somehow we're staying the course is just wrong. It is absolutely wrong.

Q No it's not.

MR. SNOW: Yes it is.

Q No it's not.

MR. SNOW: Yes it is.

Q No it's not.

MR. SNOW: Yes it is.

Q Nuh uh.

MR SNOW: Ya huh.

Q Nuh uh.

MR. SNOW: Ya huh.

Q Nuh uh.

MR SNOW: Nuh uh.

Q Ya huh... DOH!

MR SNOW: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Q Oh yeah? Well...you're a big poopy head!

MR. SNOW: I know you are but what am I?

Q A big poopy head -

MR. SNOW: I know you are but what am I?

Q You are a super-duper poopy head!

MR. SNOW: I'm rubber you're glue - whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!

Q Fine. You are a smart and handsome guy. Boing! Bounced off you and stuck to me. Ha ha!Whaddya think of that beeeeyotch?!

HELEN THOMAS: Meh. Meh. Meeehhhhhh!!!!

Q Shut up, Helen.

MR. SNOW: Yeah. Shut up Helen.

HELEN THOMAS: I can't stand you icky-poopy boys anymore. I'm taking my wig and going home!

Q Neener neener neener!!

MR. SNOW: David? You are so totally gay!

JEFF GANNON: It's true! I have pictures.

MR. SNOW: OK - who let that guy back in here?!

It's pretty hard to tell when I started making stuff up, isn't it?

Dingleberries!

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