LEARNEDFOOT: OK, people. Let's try and get our arms around the level of destruction from the blast. I need damage reports.
OPG: The official KAR beer stash appears to be intact. Whew. We really dodged a bullet there!
LF: Shut up, you! Bill? What about external damage. Did the blast affect any other blogs or Thunderjournals?
BILL: Well...the blast may have taken out Bogus Doug, but there's no way of telling for sure. Our spotters are saying that 50% of Joe Tucci's back hair has been burned off - that amounts to about 73 pounds of burnt hair....
BILL: One moment...
LF: What's up? Are you getting any readings on -
BILL: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH!!!!!! Ryan Rhodes' ass took a big - I repeat: BIG - hit of radiation.
LF: Oh my! May God forgive us.
LF: Fred the Head? Any other external damage?
HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA: It appears the the radiation has caused Molly Ivins to mutate into some sort of horrible Jabba the Hutt-like creature.
LF: Please confirm...
HOAG: Nope, sorry. No mutation. That's just how she looks.
LF: Dementee - what damage have we sustained internally?
DEMENTEE: RADIATION PLAY HAVOC WITH SIDEBAR!!!!! ALL BILL GRAPHIC GONE!!!!!
LF: Fortunately, he's moving those to another server. What else on the sidebar?
DEMENTEE: RAINBOW OF FLAVAZ BLOGROLL MESSED UP!!!!! VERY DISTURBING!!!!!
LF: Yikes! I think there's more than one blogger that's going to be pissed. Well, we can't fix those right now. Let's concentrate on what we can fix.
DEMENTEE: ALL FUTURE MOB SOIL AND WATER COMMISSIONER DEBATE THREADS DESTROYED!!!!!
LF: Eh. Good riddance. Those debates sucked anyway.
DEMENTEE: EVERYTHING ELSE LOOK A-OK!!!!
LF: Good. Well, I guess we did dodge a bullet. OK. Let's all brace ourselves for the coming political fallout and possible sanctions from the international blogging community.
BILL: ...And that time is now boss. I got Kofi Annan on line one and Jimmy Carter on line two!
LF: [Gazing skyward] Somebody up there must love me. "Dodged a bullet" indeed...
Hello, Mr. Secretary General...