Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Speaking of Mayors...

Are all Minnesota mayors massive tools?

No, really. We're all familiar with the exploits of the Twin Cities' Ambiguously Intelligent (and Gay) Duo of RT "The Float" Ryback and Chris "The BDS Candidate" Coleman. And today, Alert Reader Dave points out the absolute drooling tooliness of Duluth's mayor Herb Bergson.

Dave notes that while Duluth's crime rate is nearing epic levels (if Duluth were in Iraq, liberals would be calling it a quagmire), Bergson is addressing much more important issues...

The sins of 500 year-old dead white guys:

Monday, Oct. 9, 2006, will be the last time Duluth city employees get Columbus Day off as a holiday, Mayor Herb Bergson announced to raucous cheers from a predominately Native American audience Monday evening.

Bergson has received verbal assurances from the city's five unions that they would rather take another day off - most picked Christmas Eve - than honor Christopher Columbus, Bergson told more than 200 people in the Washington Center shortly after a march in downtown Duluth.

Sorry guys - Christmas Eve won't work out. See, we have this little thing in America called THE SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE. Christmas (along with its eve) is a Christian holiday. If the city gave its employees that day off, why, that might be "advancing" or "endorsing" religion. And then you'd have Michael Newdow on your ass and a whole shitstorm of litigation for years and years. Can't have that. Maybe you should angle for the vernal equinox or Noam Chomsky's birthday instead.

For the second straight year, he also proclaimed the second Monday in October as Indigenous Peoples Day in Duluth, instead of celebrating a man whose legacy is historically contentious

...to smalmindeded fools who would rather look to the ancient past for excuses than to the present day for solutions.

"We can't honor a murderer," Bergson said to cheers after a march organized by the Native Youth Agenda.

Unless that murderer's name is Leonard Peltier. Or Mumia. Or Che.

Bergson said it would be insensitive to 4 percent of Duluth's population to celebrate a known slave trader and tyrant. He went further, suggesting that American Indians organize boycotts of department stores and car dealerships that hold Columbus Day sales.

Well, that's not necessary. The large-scale invasion of the criminal element ought to due the same job without all the righteous indignation and stupid-looking paper mache' puppets.

"How about an indigenous peoples sale?" he asked the crowd to more applause.


How about tackling a real problem that affects 100% of the population? Perhaps Bergson could get Duluth's poet laureate to write an anti-crime haiku.

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