Tuesday, November 28, 2006

BREAKING: Kramer to Issue 1,000th Apology Later Today!

So, following Michael "Kramer" Richards' onstage meltdown, he has apologized in several public fora, expressed deep regret, and repeatedly renounced his own use of racial epithets. Now, the venue in which he lobbed N-bombs indiscriminately wants him to donate $1 million to charity for each n-bomb he loosed. I suppose once he's done with that, that's left to do is for Richards to check into rehab.

And of course you have the ubiquitous demagogues telling us that whatever he does to atone is not enough, and it indicative of some larger racism problem that is ingrained in the very DNA of America blah blah blah blah blah.

Pffft.

Remember the old saw "sticks and stones..."? Apparently that's gone out of vogue. The new truism is more like "I'm here, waiting to be offended." Did it ever occur to anyone that maybe - just maybe - the dudes heckling Richards got so far under his skin and enraged him so much that he just lost it and lashed back at them in the vilest way he could think of? Given that the hecklers were black, it wasn't hard for him to figure out what that might be.

We've all been there. Someone angers us to the point that we want to hurt them as bad as possible, in almost all cases, short of violence.

SISYPHUS ADDS: Hey Foot - you suck!

LEARNED FOOT RESPONDS: Hey! Who let you in here?

SISYPHUS: You suck at this blogging thing! And your grasp of quantum physics is Carmen Elektra-like!

LEARNEDFOOT: Who let the goddam polack in here?

SISYPHUS: gasp

LEARNEDFOOT: Yeah, you heard me. You're nothing but a dirty polack! Oooo look at the big polack in the Hawaiian shirt insulting me! Oooooo!

SISYPHUS: Dude, that was uncalled for!

LEARNEDFOOT: What? 'Cuz I called you a "polack"? You're nothing but a f**king polack! POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK and POLACK!!!!!

Whaddya think of that, polack?

SISYPHUS: You're nothing but a failure! You had - what? - that one Vikings Sex Boat Orgy Day and that was it! If you had any talent, you'd be blogging at -

LEARNEDFOOT: POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK POLACK!!!! F**king polack!

SISYPHUS: ...the Nihilist in Golf Pants! Dude... this is totally uncalled for! You dago greaseball ginney wop goomba!

LEARNEDFOOT: Oh so we're calling names now???!!!

SISYPHUS: Hey, you started it!

LEARNEDFOOT: Ooooo!!! They're gonna call the cops on the ginney just because he used the word "polack"!

SISYPHUS: I think you're losing it, man.

LEARNEDFOOT: Shut up, polack! This liveblog - er - whatever this is, is over!

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