Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Color of the Sky in the Strib's World

UPDATE: I became so mezmerized from typing the letters "D," "F," and "L" over and over again, that I omitted one of the Strib's more important (and predictable) endorsements. The omission has been remedied, and the totals updated.

UPDATE TO UPDATE: In my haste to type out the above update notice, I inadvertently characterized a Strib candidate endorsement as "important." Of course, there is no such thing as an important Strib endorsement to anyone who can wipe their own butt after pooping. KAR regrets the error.

I had no idea that the sky on Planet Zoltar is deep deep blue also. Here's what your government would look like if the Stribunitarians had their druthers. (And I am hereby copyrighting the term "Stribunitarians")

Local and county-level offices have been omited because, let's face it, nobody gives a shit about them anyway:

STATE EXECUTIVE

Governor: DFL (Napolean Complex wing)

Secretary of State: DFL (Moonbat wing)

Auditor: GOP

Attorney General: DFL

US SENATE: DFL

US HOUSE:

1st CD: DFL

2nd CD: DFL

3rd CD: GOP (Only because Wendy Wilde is the least electable candidate for any office, ever)

4th CD: DFL (Moonbat wing)

5th CD: DFL (Moonbat wing)

6th CD: DFL

7th CD: DFL

8th CD: DFL

STATE LEGISLATURE

Rochester Area

S 30: GOP

H 30A: DFL

H 30B: DFL

H 29B: DFL

Mankato Area:

S 23: DFL

H 23A: DFL

H 23B: DFL

Twin Cities and 'Burbs

S 56: DFL

H 33B: GOP

S 41: GOP

(Don't get cocky about your 2-endorsement streak there Mr. Carey - it can't last)

H 42A: DFL (see?)

S 43: DFL

S 47: DFL

H 47A: DFL

H 47B: DFL

TAXATION-RELATED REFERENDA

$30 million St. Paul school levy: YES

$20 million Washington County bond referendum (increasing property taxes) to pay for parks: YES

Crappily written constitutional amendment which would guarantee money for choo choo trains but none for roads: YES

THE TALLY SO FAR:

TOTAL NUMBER OF ENDORSEMENTS OF DFL CANDIDATES: 23 -- 82%

TOTAL NUMBER OF ENDORSEMENTS OF GOP CANDIDATES: 5 -- 18%



And here I thought the Portland Avenue Pinheads abhored the idea of "one party rule," and promoted the concept of "diversity."

This will be updated and bumped as new endorsements come out; if I feel like it.

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