Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Let the Voters Have the Race-Baiting Asshole They Deserve.

Joe Tucci's old pal Sequel and crew plan to attend the first Minneapolis school board meeting in which noted oreo-chucking moron and newly elected board member Chris Stewart / Rahelio Soleil will participate.

(Quick semi-irrelevant aside: has anyone else noticed that "Rahelio Soleil" is a combination of three allusions to the sun? "Ra" - the Egyptian sun god; "helio" - the Greek word for sun; and "Soleil - the French (Ben?) word for sun. Aside from the irony of taking his handle from an object that's most known for providing warmth and illumination, I believe that 'Sun sun sun" is actually a Barney song as well.)

Anyway, the idea is to put pressure on Stewart / Soleil to resign. I say, not so fast. I say, let Stewie stew in the mess he made.

I'm reminded of that scene from The Princess Bride:

Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.

Westley: No. To the pain.

Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.

Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.

Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.

Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.


Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.

Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.

Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

The best way to stick it to a conceited, arrogant attention whore like Stewart is to remain silent after the initial gale of bad publicity has passed. Let him wonder what people are actually thinking of him. Let him sit up on that dais in the front of the board room and feel those eyes staring at him not knowing how many of those gazes are hostile. Let him marinate in his embarrassment.

Resignation provides closure and a reprieve from the psychological torment. I think that when a "person" slanders someone the way he slandered Smokin' Hot Tammy Lee, he ought to suffer for a while; feel the silent derision of the sane portions of the community. The politics of the Race Card is quickly beginning to lose its effectiveness because of the growing number of success stories among minorities combined with the overuse of it by intellectually vacant nimrods like Stewart. How fitting it would be if his image were forever (if only locally) linked to its ultimate demise.

But of course, Stewart might just be a psychopath, in which case he feels no twinge of guilt whatsoever. Still, there is another, better reason he ought to stay on the board.

The voters of Minneapolis deserve him. You see, this is what you get when you just mindlessly fill in the oval next to the candidate with the "D" next to his name (or, for that matter, the candidate endorsed by the Strib - as Stewart was). He's an embarrassment, but he's also their embarrassment. This jerk is more of the same type of cretin whose policies have allowed the city schools to lag behind the rest of the state. He's a demagogue and an excuse maker. People like that rarely solve problems, but often create them. They elected him - he's their problem now. If you happen to be an innocent victim living in Minneapolis who didn't vote for him, well, there are plenty of private schools.

Just don't count on any tax relief to pay the tuition, though.

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