Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Minnesota Moron

I've been following the Chanhassen Hostage Drama this past few days. It's a sickening crime (although it's interesting how whenever a white family from the suburbs gets kidnapped, it's wall to wall news coverage, while whenever a brown or black family is kidnapped or driven around for days - silence!).

It's also the kind of thing where you can set your stopwatch for an appearance by...

(DRUM ROLL)

...some dipshit who's drawn a completely erroneous lesson from the whole incident! (SDWDACELFTWI!)

Today's DWDACELFTWI is Mike McGurk...

...no, really. Mike McGurk, from Taylor's Falls:
How terrifying it must have been for the Chanhassen family that was held at gunpoint and robbed by a home intruder last week. They need to know that all Minnesotans are coping with the horrors that they had to endure.
That's right. Ever since a @#$%^&* DFLer won in my House district, I feel like I'm in handcuffs and being driven to my ATM.
We like to think that we are Minnesota Nice, but then something like this happens to some newcomers, whom we now consider our own. We are a community that cares about one another.
Huh?

Has this guy ever moved to Minnesota? Minnesotans are cold to newcomers! "Minnesota Nice" is all about passive-aggressive! The kidnapper was probably the first Minnesotan to look these people square in the eye and give them a response that wasn't mewlingly passive-aggressive - especially in Chanhassen, the most dismal of all the suburbs.
He must be captured and held accountable for his actions.
Since Chanhassen is just outside Hennepin County, that might even happen!
One can only imagine what these unlucky people must think of us fellow Minnesotans. Let us do something about their misfortune by being kind to one another.
That's right, Mike. Because it's all of our faults that some piece of human vermin (who, if we'd had a concealed carry law ten years ago might have had his head justifiably blown off before the Chanhassen family moved to town) did what he did!

(Anyone want to lay odds that the kidnapper wasn't from Minnesota, either?)

By your logic, McGurk (I've always wanted to call someone "McGurk"), all of those Californians are to blame for that gawdawful Justin Timberlake record.

Get back to selling bait, McGurk, and leave the thinking to the real people.

And if the family from Chanhassen happens to read this; sorry about the ordeal and all. Please don't judge Minnesota by that piece of scum.

Or the guy who kidnapped you.

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