Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Political Surprise of the Year

Bill Frist is out!

Ok, so it’s not much of a surprise. In fact, I’m surprised it took him so long to make the announcement.

Why is Bill dropping not going to seek the Oval Office?

"In the Bible, God tells us for everything there is a season, and for me, for now, this season of being an elected official has come to a close. I do not intend to run for president in 2008," Frist said in a statement.

An anonymous source close to Senator Frist sent me a copy of the original draft of his statement which reads in part:

“Like most of you, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am a spineless weasel with no ability to lead. Even my kids have noticed and, frankly, they’ve taken advantage of their old man. I spent months threatening to use the so called nuclear option, but didn’t have the balls to pull the trigger. My wife bought me a dress when the gang of 14 neutered me with their agreement on judicial nominees.

Goddamn it, am I a pussy or what?”

Goodbye and good riddance Senator Frist.

You will be fondly forgotten and your legacy will languish as a footnote in history.

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