Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Moron Mail

WARNING: The following letter contains run-on sentences. Reader attention spans are advised.

OK. I am starting to get really sick of you people:

No party switching

May I suggest a new law?


When a senator becomes ill or dies while serving in Congress and the governor has to select a replacement for the seat, the replacement must be from the same party as the senator to be replaced -- even when the governor is from another party.

Get. A. Life.


Hey! I've got an idea!

I think that the NFL should change the rules so that when your team goes 15 and 1 during the regular season, and your team's kicker misses a last second field goal during the NFC Championship game resulting in overtime and ultimate defeat, your team's aging kicker gets a "do over". Yeah, that'd be a good self serving rule (for Vikings fans).

Or how about we punish Mike Shanahan's constant jerking around of fantasy football enthusiasts by banning the Denver Broncos and expunging all references to that team from the record books? I know an awful lot of people who would like that new rule too.

No? Football too banal?

Well, then, how about we amend the Constitution to force morons like this who would rather change the rules that occasionally yield bad results for tiny-brained assbutts who think that life completely and utterly revolves around the machinations of a bunch of people they never met in Washington DC or St. Paul than work within the system that's been in place and served us well for hundreds of years to pay to me a $10,000 Moron Free Speech Service Fee every time they dribble out one of their regular short-cuts to thinking for public consumption? I'd like that rule too!

What a bunch of whiny drooling poopy-diapered infants. The proposal itself doesn't so much gaul me as does the self-serving reasoning behind it. Al Gore loses the electoral college? Then let's scrap it! A strong(ish) third party showing gets us a (Republican) governor who garnered a mere 47% of the vote? We need instant runoff balloting!

I can't help but be certain that this letter would never have been written had been a GOP Senator stricken ill from a state with a Dem governor.

Get a life.

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