Monday, January 22, 2007

Willing the Colts to Victory 1

OK, everybody. We knew this day might come. And there's no point in going back and figuring out what went wrong. Whether we are finally seeing the fruits of the Bears' 19 year rebuilding effort or the Nihilist in Golf Pants put heavy duty money on the Saints we still need to deal with what could become the NFL's darkest moment in some 20 years.

Indeed, it's bad enough that the hated Bears are participants in the Super Bowl. But what's worse is that their insufferably lame fans are already engaging in triumphant revisionist history before the drool has even frozen to the seats in Soldier Field. To wit:

So it's 2007. Conventional wisdom spoke again. Everyone knew it was true.

"Grossman will choke in the playoffs" Fans of lesser teams repeated it like a comforting mantra. "The Saints will pull it out".

And again - for the second time in my life - I say "Hah!"

Er, no. Most of the folks predicting a Grossman meltdown were wearing pizza sauce and Old Style-stained Brian Urlacher jerseys while they did so.

And before you FIBs get all smug about this, you would do well to recall the national embarrassment and all-around assault on good taste that flowed from the last big game y'all were in. Yes, I think it's clear to everyone who holds the great game of football sacred, that the Bears must be stopped.

To that end, I have commandeered the vast resources of this ThunderJournal to assist Tony Dungy and the Colts to victory in whatever way I can. I have already lobbied said Nihilist in Golf pants to liquidate all his assets and bet the proceeds on the Bears. In addition, I am devoting all of my free time (approx. 20 hrs. / day) to breaking down film to aid the Colts braintrust's efforts in exposing every Bear weakness, no matter how large or small.

God be with all of us in these dark times.

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