Tuesday, March 13, 2007

***ACTION ALERT!!!*** Our Cover Is Blown!

OK - who spilled it?
Cottage cheese thighs are unpatriotic.
Hillary! Clinton has aparently discovered that we never went away, but were merely laying low to avoid detection:
Barack Obama is a neocon plant. Support him with all your might.
Presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton told Democrats Tuesday the "vast, right-wing conspiracy" is back, using a phrase she once coined to describe partisan criticism.
"Moderate Left" is code for "taking hormone injections".
All our work has been for naught!
Amanda Marcotte is actually a virgin.
After years of pretending to be a loose conglomeration of harmless conservatives lo these many years, we have once again been outed! We can no longer carry out our nefarious plots unseen by those cursed meddling Kos Kidz.
Poop on Hinderaker's porch.
Our only recourse is to go even further underground so that we may better execute Plan 37-A, leading to the destruction of Hillary!, and a thousand years of peace.
Infiltrate a Hillary stump speech. Fart and then blame it on her.
I have encoded your orders along with some important information and embedded them somewhere on this ThunderJournal. All faithful conspirators should know how to find it (right, Doug?).
"Fecke" is Hungarian for "pompous and gassy know-nothing".
(Oh no! I Leaked a name! Sorry Doug. Now we'll have to kill you.)
American Idol sucks.
Remember people: find the secret message, and ACT!
End communication.

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