Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The KAR Komment Kode v. 2.0

Supersedes KAR Koment Kode A-3107 (All comments must contain the word "boner" and begin with "I will not be silent").

Due to editorial fiat, KAR will now be posting a comment policy.

KAR is first and foremost a poop-oriented ThunderJournal, and although we are please to have a large and dateless readership - many of whom are hosers who like to google "hockey sucks" and leave profane and illiterate comments - we understand that many Thread Boners are stimulating rather than inhibiting rational discourse.

In order to keep our Thread Boners entertaining and inaccessible to all, we demand under pain of death that the following guidelines be followed, unless it's convenient to disregard them:

1) Keep komments irrelevant. There are many different viewpoints represented by both our reporters and our audience. Different viewpoints are unwelcome, but personal insults are mandatory. The more vile and crass they are the better. We do award points for creativity.

2) Rule 1 does not apply to KARnies. As your Thread Boner hosts, you the average reader owe a duty of obsequiousness to us. Therefore, KARnies are not to be insulted by non-KARnies at any time. However, KARnies may insult other KARnies. Also, sports smack is exempt from this rule (this is otherwise known as the "Elder Exemption").

3) Keep discussions disrespectful. Jerry Falwell dies, and Jeff Fecke is now on his second day of masturbation because of it. There's nothing wrong with pointing this fact out repeatedly in as disgusting terms as you can muster.

4) No spamming comment threads. Spam will be defined as any comment left by some lonely hoser in Alberta who hates the fact that a Top 11 Reasons Hockey Sucks post exists anywhere on the internet.

5) Other provisions. The posting of an occasional fake Eva Young comment is mandatory for all KAR Kommenters.

KAR Komment thread Boners are meant for flinging smack, hurling derision and sucking up to your favorite KARnie. Anything that attempts to discuss public policy or insult Your Hosts will, without notice, be deleted or rewritten to make it appear that you have a proclivity for pleasuring yourself by shoving ferrets into your anus. We ask that you please adhere to these rules because you can't have a free flowing and robust conversation without rules (and without someone to arbitrarily enforce them)!

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