Monday, June 18, 2007

MilF Tips: TPC at Valleywood #8

NOTE: This is the eighth installment of an 18-part series introducing MilFers to the Home Course. It is funded by a grant from the Foundation to Provide LearnedFoot Shit to Write About When There's Nothing to write About.

VALLEYWOOD #8
"A Prarie Home Abomination"


Number 8 is the place where Valleywood says to the golfer: "OK, putt-putt time is over. You are my bitch now." The hole is a 425 yard par-4 from the MilF tees, but plays more like 950 yards because of the enormous wall-like hill that presents itself for your tee shot. There's a rumor that Valleywood once had Sherpas for hire at the #8 tee box to help golfers find their errant tee shots to the prairie nature preserve area on the top of the hill to the right, or to prevent the shorter hitter from rolling backwards down the hill and drowning in the pond at the bottom.


The eighth is also notable for being the backdrop of the incident in which the Nihilist in Golf Pants mistook Andy Aplikowski for an elderly fat woman.

Be that as it may, once you crush your 200 yard drive over the hill, you have a fairway wood or long iron in to a small, undulating and unforgiving green. Take your double, and move on.


FOOT'S SECRET TIP: If you're walking the course, be sure to tip the beer cart chick well. Maybe she'll give you a lift to the top of the hill.

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