Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Mentorship Complete

It didn't take long for Eric Black to make the transition from semi-respected journalist to diseased mercenary character assassin hitman. But it's hardly a surprise and merits little more attention than just this passing mention.

Also unsurprising was the reaction from the unstable droogs in the above-linked post's comment thread. This was a post facto hit piece on Michele Bachmann after all, and true to history, every deranged self-esteem deficient obsessed nomrod came out of the woodwork to once again pillory the freshman representative for her faith and her waaaay radical view that marriage laws should remain just the way they are.

In fact, this thread is so filled with hate, ignorance, paranoia, baseless hubris, and impotent rage, if we could find a way to isolate, contain and package this thread and launch it into the sun, the world would be a far better place. And ol' Sol would have enough fuel to burn for another billion years or so.

As a public service to those who like their sanity intact, I shall synopsize the comments in that thread, paraphrasing them for bevity and distilling them down to their deeply stupid essence so that no more energy need be expended on mocking them.

Of course, for context, you should read Black's post first. I'll wait.

If you've already read the post, and are waiting for the others to catch up with me, here's a video of Iron Maiden performing "Still Life" - a song about a guy whose hallucinations drive him to insanity, which seems oddly appropriate here...



Everybody ready? Good. Let's get on with the paraphrased comment thread:

MaxPower: Why oh why didn't you print this when it happened????? Her behavior obviously disqualifies her from office!

LymeDZs: Printing it would not have made any difference. Bachmann is a christofascist theocrat fascist and her followers are theocratic cryptochristoneocon fascists. The only way to deal with these theocrat cryptochristonazitheocrat fascist fascists is to round them all up and put them in reeducation camps and teach them tolerance. Godbag christo-fascists!

ButtBoy: While I agree with you LymeDZs, I should note that her followers are also sheep lemmings. I also agree with Eric and MaxPower. And everyone else who will comment to this post. Except for wingnuts. I do not agree with wingnuts (is that what we're still calling them?)

Bill Headupass: What else are you hiding Black? For the love of Isis, the civilized world depends on you publishing all the dirt you have on this dangerous dangerous theocrat. I will take back everything I said about you if you will let the light shine in on all those things you held back while you were at the Star Tribune.

Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah theocrat. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada?

So in conclusion, what else are you holding back?

Avid0rk: [Indecipherable]

PsychoWoman: It's good to see that you are finally able to write the Vital Truth now that you are out from under the thumb of the neocon tool Anders Gyllenhaal and that neocon propaganda arm of Halliburton, the Star Tribune. Hugo Chavez 4evah!

Upchuk: That's because we live in an American Gulag. Nobody can speak their mind because the neocon jackbooted thugs will silence you!

PsychoWoman: So true Upchuk. I always censor myself because I live in constant fear of Cheney's thugs marching me off to Gitmo simply because I am a member of the Reality-based Community and I speak truth to power. Go Hugo!

Bill Headupass: I say again, please tell us everything you know about Michele Bachmann. The voters deserve to know! Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr.

Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr. Farley farley farley farley farley, heffaarrrr.

Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart. Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart. Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart. Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart. Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart. Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart. Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart. Booger barf poop fart boger barf poop fart.

Please, Eric. What else do you know?

Blobletta: I rite aboot Michele Bachmann on my blog. Shee's a rediculous looser! Read my blog!

Bill Headupass: I may not have asked this yet, but Eric: what else are you holding back. Michele Bachman is the most dangerous person in the House and the truth needs to get out to the people. What else do you have? Come clean.

Yaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka yaka yakayakayaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yaka yakayaka.

If you don't give us everything you know soon, I'm going to hold my breath and stomp my feet until you do.

Bill Headupass: What else do you know Eric? Please enlighten us unwashed masses. I will not be ignored, Eric.


EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm going to stop here because 1) I just can't take it any more; and 2) Bill Headupass goes on for about 30,000 more words saying pretty much the same thing.

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