So what do you get when a middle-aged preadolescent who chooses odd things to obsess about, and who is primarily known for authoring a crappy, unfunny defunct comic strip, pooping out crappy, unclever photoshops and "videos" (i.e. still photos with a rolling soundtrack) and contributing to a slew of rancid, lightly-read stalker blogs, runs out of material (such as it is)?
Why, you get the Strib Letter o' the Day!
Nearly a year ago, former Minneapolis Councilmember Dean Zimmermann was convicted on three counts of bribery. To this day, many of Zimmermann's supporters claim he is innocent, even though audio and videotapes presented at the trial clearly showed him soliciting and accepting large amounts of cash. You can read all about it on my still unread PRT Sucks Blog. Read my blog!
The U.S. Department of Justice did not release those tapes to the media at the conclusion of the trial. The tapes were shown in open court and are part of the public record. Similar FBI tapes showing public officials accepting bribes have been released to the media. I've run out of public domain videos to tweak and put on YouTube! Help! Read my blog!
Zimmermann's supporters have said that then-U.S. Attorney Tom Heffelfinger, Assistant U.S. Attorney John Docherty, the FBI, the judge and jury were part of a conspiracy to "frame" Zimmermann. Some supporters have even conjured a conspiracy that involved Zimmermann's opponent in the last election and even DFL Party officials. But we knew all those conspiracies are false because Zimmermann is in the pocket of Big PRT - a lobby that threatens the very fabric of public transportation. Read my blog!
Recent allegations that other federal investigations and prosecutions may have been politically motivated lend credence to those claims. Those allegations have eroded public confidence in the fairness and impartiality of the U.S. Department of Justice. Michele Bachmmann, who also supports the impending PRT boondoggle, has also eroded public confidence because she's a gay hatin' theocrat PRT bobo. You can read about that on my blog too!
I believe allowing citizens to view the evidence that convicted Zimmermann would help restore some of that lost confidence and give me something to fill my vast free time. Maybe I could put a soundtrack on the tapes! Nothing would be funnier than a video of Zimmermann taking a bribe while "Lawyers Guns and Money" or perhaps that Edgar Winter classic "Free Ride" plays in the background! Please oh please throw me a bone here. I have nothing to do now that Bachmann is in Washington, and airfare is too expensive to follow her there. The anniversary of Zimmermann's conviction would be an opportune moment for the government to release those tapes. Please oh please oh please! I'm dyin' here. And read my blog!
KEN AVID0RK, MARS
Wow. What's next? Will we soon see him standing a freeway off ramp holding a "Will make slanderous photoshop for food" sign?
One could only hope...