Monday, July 09, 2007

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

Well class, another Independence Day has come and gone. Many people celebrate the 4th of July in many different ways. Would anyone like to share what they did this past holiday?

Yes, Kayla?

Me and my family went to the parade with a picnic lunch and stayed for the fireworks afterwards.

Why, that sounds like fun, Kayla. In fact, a lot of people celebrate Independence Day that way.

How about you, Timmy? What did you do on the 4th?

Every year, my family goes to Washington DC and visits the Smithsonian and looks at the original Constitution and discusses what it's like to be an American and then we watch the fireworks on the Mall!

What a great family tradition Timmy! But please remember our lesson in English class about run-on sentences.

We have time for a couple more... Billy Bob - what do you do on Independence Day?

Me and Pa go over to 'Sconsin and buy a shitload of illegal fireworks. Then, that night, pa gets annihilated on Pigs Eye and shoots 'em off at the neighbor's windows!

Well, uh, that certainly sounds like a good time. An extremely dangerous good time, but -

Billy Bob! Uncross your eyes this minute!

I cain't.

Very well, then...

How about one more...?

You there, in the back of the class...dressed in all black...compulsively scratching your arm...(consults seating chart) Susie!

What fun things did you do to celebrate the birth of this great nation?

I don't know about you, but this year I didn't much feel like celebrating America's independence. Seems like cooperation and collaboration might be more to the point after six go-it-alone years of George W. Bush. So no sparklers and mini-flags in the petunia pots for me this year.

Er... oooooookay. So tell me, what would your ideal celebration be?

Instead of a celebration of independence, maybe we need a celebration of unity. Maybe we need a massive weeklong Impeach Cheney and Take Back America rally in front of the White House, fueled by celebrities, and heavily promoted by the media, who owe us one big time.

I'm not sure you're clear on the concept of "Independence" as it relates to...

Maybe we need James Earl Jones, the voice of Darth Vader, to speak truth to power, and Maya Angelou to speak strength to cowardice, and for old time's sake, Pete Seeger to lead us in a chorus of Woody Guthrie's "This Land is Your Land," sparklers and flags all around.

I'm beginning to see why none of the kids play with you at recess...


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