Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Milf Tips: TPC at Valleywood #12

NOTE: This is the 12th in a series of 18 tips intended to instill confidence in would-be contenders for the Jim Jones Jug. Of course that confidence is totally misplaced and unwarranted, because the team of Learned Foot and Notorious B.I.L. will absolutely crush all opposition with their flawless play. I am not even sure that the competition should be held because of course, there is no way any other players can attain the level of athletic prowess I have already achieved, for I am Daisuke, and I am invincible! I will subjugate all who dare to question my…oh, uh, sorry.




TPC at Valleywood #12
“Dogwood Damnation”


Playing 474 yds from the Milf tees and par of 5, #12 is definitely a golfer’s golf hole. Three good shots are required on this intimidating test in order to reach the green in regulation and have an outside chance at birdie. I say “intimidating” because intimidated is exactly how you will feel when you step onto the tee box and stare across the chasm that needs to be crossed with your initial stroke. You will be standing on a tee box that is elevated relative to the terrain that is directly in front of and about 175 yards out from your vantage, at which point the ground comes back up sharply to an elevation even with or maybe even a little higher than the tee box. You realize immediately that to duff this first shot into the valley below will most certainly doom you to bogey at the least, and likely worse.

Successful execution of your drive leaves you with a second shot that needs to stay straight, as each side of this fairway is lined with mature and unforgiving trees. The green is small enough to make your approach shot dicey. A great drive on this hole however does reward those with some game a chance to “go for it” on the second shot. Just don’t push or yank it!

BILL’S SECRET TIP: It looks longer than it actually is from the tee to a safe landing point. If you have discovered a complete ineptitude with the driver on previous holes, take out a 5 or 4 iron on this tee. This should help you keep it straight, and should be more than enough club to get you past the “hump.” You can then hit another 5 iron for your second shot which should leave you about 150 to 170 yards for your approach.


FOOT'S SECRET TIP: The ladies get a big break on #12, so be sure to make it off the tee, Snowflake; lest you be forced to play this longish hole with your wiener out.

FOOT ALSO ADDS: Your Other Humble Tipster notes that Bill mentions something about a "fairway" in the second graf above. I have no experience with a fairway on this hole, and in fact cannot recall ever seeing one on the Twelfth. However, I can verify the existence of the ubiquitous mature trees that are referred to lining this hypothetical fairway.

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