Friday, September 07, 2007

Fucking Moron Mail

We interrupt our continuing coverage of Buttcheekgate for an emergency moron mail.

Wow.

Today the Strib published one of the nastiest, ignorance-besotted and droolingly stupid crops of letters I have seen since I started this whole letter-fisking craze back in '04. I could poop on just about every letter printed there today, but time constraints and preservation of sanity force me to highlight only two. These babies are so bad, that they are not merely moronic, they're fucking moronic (a term that will have to be redacted when this goes up on True North.).

First, this dear out-of-state readers, is what passes in our local paper as especially meritorious and deserving of the title "Letter of the Day":

Katherine Kersten's Sept. 3 column criticizing the law firm Schwebel, Goetz & Sieben for wanting to investigate the collapse of the Interstate 35W bridge should enrage all Minnesotans. I mean, how dare those blood-sucking lawyers try to get to the bottom of such a colossal failure of our public infrastructure.

Query to fans of Joe Soucheray's radio program: has the word "infrastructure" earned a foghorn yet? If not, it should.

The Pawlenty administration, Legislature, the Minnesota Department of Transportation, contractors and the Star Tribune are content with clearing the debris and taking bids to build a new bridge as fast as they can. The real story is that these parties don't want to study the reasons for the failure; they figure, "Why play the blame game? Can't we just move on?" There is absolutely no accountability, and that is disgusting -- especially in a tragedy this important.

No, douchebag. What's disgusting is your complete and utter ignorance (willful?) of well-reported fact. The fact is that the investigation is being conducted by the counterintuitively-named-to retarded-letter-writers National Transportation Safety Board. (Gee - whoda thunk it?) And that agency is doing so with the full support and assistance of all relevant state agencies, as can be read in this confusingly-worded-for-retarded-fucks executive order issued by the governor the day after the collapse:


All state agencies are directed to provide support, assistance and
cooperation as requested by the National Transportation Safety Board, which has
been identified as the lead agency investigating the cause of the bridge
collapse
.


Oh, but I'm sure that a bunch of mercenary engineers hired by a PI law firm would provide a totally fair and non-self-serving investigation into the cause of the disaster. After all, plaintiffs' attorneys always put experts whose testimony hurts their cases on the stand. Right?

Wrong. Dumbshit.

Jim Schwebel, John Goetz and Bill Sieben are several Minnesotans who want to find out why the bridge collapsed;

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I shouldn't laugh - that statement is true as far as it goes...all the way to the bank.

- they should be commended. It's unfortunate that our governor and the powers that be aren't so concerned!

There you go, T-Paw. Sage advice from Some Guy in Roseville. If you really want to make a difference, put aside your silly executive orders and emergency disbursements, tie on your running shoes and chase an ambulance.

WADE BONER, ROSEVILLE

Number Two - and I mean that in every sense of that term - comes from a semiliterate life form in St. Paul:

Apparently, according to Katherine Kersten, those who plan to protest the 2008 Republican National Convention using direct action are "anarchists" (column, Sept. 6).

Well, according to the website belonging to the group she was referring to:

The RNC Welcoming Committee is an anarchist / anti-authoritarian organizing body
preparing for the 2008 Republican National Convention in St. Paul, Minnesota.


Like I said - there are morons, and there are fucking morons...

As she fails to define the term or delineate the category,

Or you could pull your head out of your ass, and pay attention to what they're saying, to wit:

She said the group would not seek permits to demonstrate, and said efforts
to restrict protesters in that way constituted repression and a “violent
threat.”

In discussing future tactics, she said, “Some may choose to resist
state violence using pacifist tactics, while others use whatever methods they
deem necessary and appropriate
.”


it might be fair to suggest that she would place this label on the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and those who fought for civil rights in the 1960s using nonviolent direct action.

You have got to be kidding. And, if you had any idea about what you were talking about - any at all - you would be.

But even leaving the term aside, Kersten makes the classic case for trading off freedom for order: our freedoms for her order.

Well, shithead, I've got news for ya': everybody has rights. Not just a bunch of attention starved, spoiled trust-fund fuckball adolescents who just learned how to wipe their butts and now think they can "make a difference".

If this is the direction of American conservatism (and I hope it's not), then there is all the more reason to protest the Republican National Convention. If it's not, then one wonders why the Star Tribune published this opinion.

Indeed - one wonders why the Strib published this opinion.

JOHN SHIT, ST. PAUL

Watch for the squeaky-clean PG version at True North soon.

No comments: