Monday, September 24, 2007

A Very Special Message to the NFL and the Networks from OPG

Dear Chuckleheads,

Once again, I was unable to watch my beloved Packers on TV up here in Viking land. That is the 3rd time in this young season - a number that matches the total number of blacked-out-Pack Sundays in recent seasons, and just one or two short of last season.

Now, if you want to leave ratings points on the table, that's your choice. I mean the Pack consistently draws just as big of a ratings share as the Purple does up here in the hinterland when both teams' games are shown. You obviously hate advertising revenue, and your heads are so far up your asses that you cannot find a way - any way - to show the Pack in one of the 6 - SIX! - televised games each week.

I mean I totally see it: how could you not push the game between two awful east coast teams that nobody gives a shit about to the 3:00 national slot? Genius!

But makes your incomprehensible, revenue shrinking scheduling decisions particularly unforgivable this week, is that I was forced to listen to the compelling and ultimately stunning Packers Chargers tilt through a thick din of static obscuring a 5-watt radio broadcast from western Wisconsin, while Fox inflicted the horrifically bad Vikings-Chiefs game on my eyes. This was a game that was so horrible, that in the 3rd quarter I actually had to stick a shrimp fork in my scrotum to make the watching of that game seem less painful. It was so bad that the most entertaining part of the game never made the telecast:

Get a clue NFL. Figure out a way to get both the Packer and Vikings games on TV up here. We're surly drunks, and we will barf spitefully on you should you fail to change your ways.

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