Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Closed Circuit to All Colorado Rockies Fans

Recently, one of your legion sent out a blanket invitation for anyone to hop on the Rockies bandwagon before it departed for the playoffs and points beyond. As with any broad invitation of this sort, you are likely to draw certain undesirables, and your case is no exception. And boy did you hook a doozy.

I am referring, of course, to one Chad the Elder. Having just about every other team he (putatively, temporarily, only in good times) supports currently wallowing in the wreckage of their respective seasons, Chad enthusiastically mustered all of his 4-inch vert to hop aboard the Rockies' wagon at the first beckoning. What you got, I'm afraid, is a gadfly, a sports whore who flings baseless, second-string smack, and most importantly, a man who has, until times were good for your team, held you, your beloved Rockies, and indeed the entire National League in utter contempt.

To wit:

You dare talk baseball trash with a team like the Rockies? (Source)

How can a guy who lives in a place called "Wheat Ridge" give anyone crap? The dirty little secret of Colorado is that although the state is best know for the Rockies (they're real and they're spectacular), damn near half of it is nothing more than West Kansas (or Southwest Nebraska). (Ibid.)

Gotta love that National League game don't ya? Nothing like watching a clueless pitcher make a base runner blunder that would get a Little Leaguer chewed out. Yeah, but the DH takes a lot out of the game, right? (Source)

And if that's not all, should your beloved team (God forbid!) tank in the World Series, you can look forward to thousands of half-baked smack comments ripping on your team and telling you how great Adrian Peterson is. (I'm serious. You're dealing with a real winner here.)

You good folks in Colorado need to punt this guy off your bandwagon ASAP. Now that it's going at full speed, the bounce of his body off the pavement might make for quite the spectacle.

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