Monday, October 01, 2007

Dear Chad the Elder,

Hello. My name is LearnedFoot, and I am the mastermind of the extremely successful wagering strategy known as the "Nihilist Anti-Lock Betting System" (or NALBS, for short). Simply put, the NALBS works like this:

1) Ascertain the Nihilist's predictions for any given NFL game; and

2) Bet the opposite.

One of the major weaknesses with NALBS is that it wholly depends on the prognosticational output of the Nihilist in Golf Pants. In short, if the Nihilist fails to publish his predictions about the outcome of any NFL contests, the NALBS cannot be used. This, of course could lead to bettors leaving literally thousands of dollars on the table. And as you may have noticed, the ol' Nihilist hasn't exactly been forthcoming with his picks lately.

Therefore, I have a proposal for you that I think we both might find mutually lucrative.

Last week, you published the following prediction:

The opportunistic Vikings will parlay an interception return for touchdown, a fumble return for touchdown, a special teams touchdown, and a safety into an improbable 23-20 victory.

As you may already know, the result of that game was a 23-16 victory for the Packers - A SCORE THAT WAS ALMOST PERFECTLY OPPOSITE OF YOUR PREDICTION. And given that the Green and Gold were only giving up 1.5 points to the Purple, an application of NALBS principles to your pick could have had many a Vegas player rolling in the dough.

So I'm asking you to please please please please please pretty please keep publishing your NFL picks. Together, we could own many sports books and retire early.

Inventor - Nihilist Anti-Lock Betting System

No comments: